Christmas Advent Calender
by srusse87
Summary: Written for The Lemon Advent Calender challenge. One story for every day of December. A collection of yaoi, angst, friendship, 1x2, 3x4, Howard, and others.
1. O' Tannenbaum

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me. I didn't make any profit from this story.

Pairings: 1+2, Sally friendship

Warnings: None, a little fluffy?

_December 1st_

**O' Tannenbaum**

It had been a gift when they moved into their house.

A small potted fig tree with a woven trunk. The woman who gave it to them said the braided trunk represented their bond with each other. Heero didn't have the heart to tell her that in many cultures the fig tree was considered an ill omen or sign of futility.

Duo pointed out when they were alone that it was much to cold where they lived for the tree to actually develop fruit and so basically it was just a pretty potted plant.

They accepted the gift graciously though and placed the tree in a sunny spot next to the chair Duo liked to read in. For the most part, other than watering it occasionally, both men forgot about it.

Which is probably why it died.

Neither Heero nor Duo ever seemed to find the time or desire to do anything about the tree though and it remained in its spot next to the chair, the sun shining on its bare twigs.

When the winter months arrived, they both noticed the decorations appearing around the office. They didn't give much thought to the impending holiday however until Sally Po brought up the issue of a Christmas tree.

"Why do we need a Christmas tree?" Heero had asked her, when she pinned him with the question one afternoon in the coffee room. She'd appeared puzzled.

"Because, it's Christmas and during Christmas it's tradition to have a tree and presents and stockings…" Heero cut her off when her eyes glazed over and he sensed a long and involved history of Christmas' past coming on.

"Duo and I don't usually do anything for Christmas."

Sally looked shocked. "Why not?"

Heero just shrugged and tapped his spoon rhythmically on the counter. Sally looked pointedly at it and he realized he was tapping along to the Christmas music someone had playing quietly in the room. He tossed the spoon down in disgust.

"It's just another holiday. It doesn't even have real meaning anymore, just an opportunity for people to get things."

"Heero Yuy, do not tell me you're a humbug!" Sally folded her arms and scowled.

"Who's a humbug?" Duo entered the room and snagged a mug down from the shelf and poured himself a cup of coffee. Heero rolled his eyes and tipped his chin toward Sally. "She thinks I'm a humbug because I don't see the need to conform to society's idea that we have to celebrate Christmas."

Duo nodded thoughtfully as he put the coffee pot back. "It's not a bad idea though. We could try it just this once." Heero thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. "Sure, why not."

Sally shook her head. "But it's much too late in the season to find a tree, what are you going to do?"

Duo smirked. "Oh I think we have just the thing."

Years later, when it had become their own strange tradition, friends would come over and silently shake their heads. Only Sally Po looked at the sad little fig tree, spruced up with gold wire and small bells and cringed, feeling entirely responsible.

The dead fig tree sat in the corner of the room, still in its pot though now wearing a festive tree skirt as well. Somehow though, despite the sad little twigs which were growing sparser every year, it didn't come across as pathetic.

"You know, this wasn't quite what I had in mind." Sally greeted Duo and accepted the cup of hot cider he handed to her.

"Oh I know," Duo told her cheerfully. "But which has more meaning, the fake plastic trees people buy because they match the Christmas image or our dead twig tree hanging on, even though it's very much abused."

Sally sipped her cider and eyed Duo over the rim of her cup. "If that was a metaphor Duo Maxwell, I think you just insulted me."

Duo laughed and nudged her with his shoulder. "Nah, if I were really going for a metaphor, I'd say you were more like those bells. Beautiful and bright even among the tattered branches."

Sally swallowed, her eyes a little shiny. "Thank you, Duo."

"Only the truth, babe." Then he grinned and kissed her cheek before dashing away, presumably to find Heero.

Sally turned back to the tree, studying it in silence. Finally she smiled and raised her cup to it in a toast. "Ah hell, who needs a fir tree anyway? Merry Christmas."


	2. Fresh Out of Christmas Cheer

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me. I didn't make any profit from this story.

Pairings: Wufei-centric

Warnings: Language and angst

_December 2nd_

**Fresh Out of Christmas Cheer**

Snarly. Cranky. Bitchy. Aggravated. Wufei was_ in a mood_.

He hated recruit week. He hated being called away from his own work to proctor exams. He hated the wet-behind-the-ears newbies, most sporting eager military buzz cuts. _This was not the military_. He hated how innocent they all were, raising their hands to spout out answers they'd memorized by rote from a book because they lacked any actual experience. He hated the fact that many of them would fail, drop out or die in the course of their time with Preventers. He hated the fact that it was Christmas.

Christmas as a holiday meant very little to Wufei. It hadn't been celebrated on L5 and he'd only read about the tradition in books before coming to Earth. Chinese New Year was in fact, a much more painful and nostalgic holiday but he was able to forget it every year when there was no one else to remind him of it.

Wufei hated Christmas for its season. For the memories he associated with this time of the year. But then, maybe he was just looking for an excuse to explain his foul temper.

It certainly wasn't because he was alone.

Certainly not.

Because if Wufei admitted to being lonely then he'd have to admit he needed other people and he found that unacceptable. He could respect others, like he did his fellow pilots and now Preventer agents, but he wasn't going to them for a shoulder to cry on.

Wufei believed in being strong.

So unlike most people who might have agreed to work on Christmas, Wufei wasn't considered a martyr by his friends or co-workers. He was just Wufei. And Wufei always did his job.

Slamming the door to the exam room shut with a greater force than necessary, he stalked down the corridor grumbling.

Heero and Duo had gone somewhere for the holidays. _The Bavarian Alps; Duo's been practically bubbling with excitement over it for the past four months._

Sally had gone home for the holidays. _L1 cluster; she'd promised to bring him back a slice of pumpkin pie._

Trowa was spending the holidays somewhere, obviously not here. _Christmas with Catherine and the crew and New Years at Quatre's. He'd spent a lavish amount of money on fireworks for the occasion._

Even Une had taken off for wherever the Commander spent her downtime. _A quiet Christmas with Mariemeia and a visit to Treize' grave._

Wufei scowled and wished he didn't know and care so much about what his friends were actually doing. Nobody had asked what his plans were, they all knew. He sat down at his desk and gazed across the empty office.

When the phone rang, he growled slightly under his breath but answered it. Since that was his job. Listening to the person on the other end, he took notes and then acknowledged the information before signing off.

He'd thought about getting a cat. Something to come home to at least. And cats were quiet. They had a dignity about them that Wufei respected. Maybe he'd do that after the holidays.

For tonight though it was just him and a paperback he'd brought to pass the time. There wasn't much else to do other than man the desk, answer the phone and hope all hell didn't break loose before his shift was over.

The phone rang again and Wufei sighed.

_Fucking Christmas._


	3. All Wrapped Up

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. I didn't make any profit writing this story.

Warning: yaoi, mention of nipples and a belt buckle

Pairing: Duo and Heero

_December 3rd_

**All Wrapped Up**

Outside it was snowing, the flakes drifting down in clumps, lazy as they fell and making the heavy sky beautiful. Inside, two young men were sprawled out on the living room floor wrapping presents.

"How many left?"

Duo had a pen cap in his mouth while he scribbled a name and message on a tag, but Heero could still make out the question. He looked around the room and then leaned over to snag a box that had slid under the couch. "This is the last one."

"Thank God." Spitting out the cap, Duo raised his arms over his head and stretched, wincing when his back popped.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

Heero nodded. And then groaned when he lost. "You know, if my scissors were made of gundanium there's no way they would have lost to rock."

They'd been wrapping presents for a good portion of the afternoon. When Quatre suggested a Christmas party it had seemed like a wonderful idea. This morning though they'd realized they hadn't wrapped any of the presents they'd bought for their friends and the party was tomorrow.

To the mixed pleasure and exasperation of both men, the list was rather long.

Pointing to various packages scattered about the living room, Duo counted them under his breath. "Wufei. Sally. Quatre. Trowa. Relena. Une. Howard. Noin. Zechs. Dorothy. The office secretary. Mrs. Philips downstairs. And..." He paused, puzzled for a second and then remembered the box in Heero's hand. "Catherine!"

Heero chuckled and then pointed to the presents sitting under their small tree as well. "Duo. Duo. Heero. Duo. Heero. And Heero."

Duo grinned and then stood, careful to not step on any of the wrapping paper as he walked to the kitchen. Heero wouldn't drink any coffee now that it was well into the evening but Duo could definitely use a cup.

When he came back he found Heero putting the finishing touches on the last package and couldn't help but smile. The former pilot of Wing Zero sat cross-legged, the small box resting in his lap as he carefully tied the bow. He was biting his bottom lip as he concentrated and the word which came to Duo's mind was..._adorable_.

Though he thought he'd keep that one to himself.

Silently he dropped to the floor behind Heero, scooting forward so that he was pressed against the other man's back.

"Hey."

Heero smiled and made a sound of pleasure when Duo kissed his neck. "Hey yourself."

"I never realized how well you could wrap. It could be a second calling." His hands crept up Heero's shirt as he spoke and he amused himself by counting the ribs his fingers danced over.

"I rather like my current occupation. Besides, wrapping would only be seasonal work."

Duo laughed and his fingers wandered higher. "There's birthdays too you know." Finding a nipple, he tweaked it and then laughed when Heero dropped the pen.

Heero squirmed and quickly signed the last tag before shoving the present away. "Are you finished molesting me?"

"I just noticed something. It's a nipple but it's not _my_ nipple."

Heero turned his head to stare at Duo blankly. "Did you hit your head in the kitchen?"

Duo thumped him on the shoulder and scowled. "No. I just mean that I'm touching it, right? And it feels like mine but I can't feel anything myself."

Heero snorted and batted Duo's hand away from the object in question. "You play with your nipples often then?"

"Oh shut up." Duo kissed Heero's neck again and then crawled around to the front to get better access. Changing his mind he pushed Heero onto his back, ignoring the rustle of Christmas paper and bows that scattered and rolled away.

"You know what your problem is Yuy?"

"No but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

Duo kissed him deeply once more, and then backed away to catch his breath. "Your problem is you're wound up too tight."

Heero smirked, "So are you gonna unwrap me?"

Duo grinned wickedly and reached toward Heero's belt buckle. "Oh _Hell _yeah."


	4. Answers in the Snow

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. I didn't make any profit writing this.

Pairing: Well...so it's 4x3 I suppose though it's just sort of mentioned as this future possiblity...

Warning: points above.

December 4th

**Answers in the Snowfall**

The snow reminded him of space. Staring up into the night sky, it was almost as if he was spinning through the stars once again. He felt a moment of vertigo, as if the ground had dropped from beneath him for a second. Then he lowered his gaze and the moment was lost.

Not a happy memory.

A gust of wind blew snow in his face and he pulled the scarf around his neck closer. It'd been a gift from Quatre that afternoon. As a present it was normal enough, but Trowa knew there was more behind it than just the presentation of a simple gift.

Quatre wanted something.

Trowa was not unfamiliar with same sex relationships. He'd grown up with mercenaries after all. It wasn't uncommon to turn to another man for physical release. But what Quatre wanted was more than a physical release.

And Trowa wasn't sure he could give that.

The scarf was warm though, and practical. Despite Quatre's lifestyle and appearance, Trowa had always been impressed by how practical the man was. Following his orders during battle, he couldn't help but admire the cold logical ruthlessness Quatre wielded.

It was only later, as he stood hesitantly in the doorway of the med bay, that he discovered even practical people could cry.

In the end, Trowa had left. Gone back to the circus and to the life that didn't require much more than for him to do his job. And yet, he'd still thought about Quatre. The way he'd been so fierce in battle, so euphoric in victory, so sad when coming down. So very alive.

When he'd received the invitation to spend Christmas with him, Trowa realized he wanted to see the other pilot again. He wanted to see if Quatre was just as alive as he remembered.

And so he'd come.

Standing now, in the dark and the cold, watching the flakes fall around him in swirls, he wondered if he'd always come when Quatre called.

The house stood behind him, it's windows glowing warmly in the dark. A beacon to guide him back if he so chose.

Out of the dark a figure appeared, silently standing beside him. Quatre didn't look at him but stared out across the field as if searching for the answers to questions Trowa still hadn't formed.

"I didn't get you anything."

Quatre shrugged. "That's ok."

Somehow though, Trowa felt it wasn't.

"Why did you invite me?"

For a while there was silence, only twin puffs of white breath disturbing the air. Then Quatre spoke. "I was once told that if you don't listen to your heart, your soul won't find peace."

He thought about that for a moment the nodded. "Sage advice. An old mentor?"

Quatre looked up towards the sky, staring at the snow as it fell. Then he grinned. "A fortune cookie actually."

Trowa threw back his head and laughed.

It felt good.


	5. Tis the Season 'part I'

Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing and/or it's franchise. We didn't make any profit writing this story.

Warning: Wufei-ness, cliches, and much tongue in cheek

Author note: Co-written by TheSlyArbitrator and me. (Ok, he wrote most of it). This is a two day Christmas Special and we hope you enjoy it.

_December 5th_

**Tis the Season...**

Chang Wufei sat at his desk rummaging through a heap of paperwork. His job was to find any uprising organizations that had hostile plans and neutralize them before the situation broke into a full scale war.

At the moment however, there didn't appear to be any new plans to take over the world. Everyone seemed to agree with the Peacecraft family's ideals. Even though Wufei didn't exactly agree with their ideals. He found it hard to believe that in order to have peace, there mustn't be any weapons. Wufei believed peace could only be enforced by a strong backing of security. Of course, he was working for that strong backing. Not because he wanted a legal gun but because that's what he was good at.

And while Wufei enjoyed the newly fledged peace, it also meant he got stuck filing papers instead of doing field work. In an effort to keep agents active, the department had started reopening cold files. Which was why his partner Sally, was out doing patrols around the colonies searching for information about an attempted assassination on the Ambassador to the Mars program. The ambassador had been wounded when an armor piercing bullet went through his chest while he was holding a press conference. However when nothing had turned up, the case had been closed.

Wufei sighed, looking at the report. Christmas was nearing and there were hardly any leads on the case. He wondered if he'd be spending the holidays sitting at his desk staring at dead files on cases nobody cared about anymore. He didn't have to think about it much longer though before Sally came on the screen.

"Done yet?"

Wufei raised an eyebrow, "Well, besides the huge pile next to me? I think I'm about done, thanks for your concern."

Sally smirked. "Tell Commander Une I might have found something."

"Righto Sherlock." Wufei got up from the computer monitor, and headed toward Une's office. The Commander was sitting at her desk talking on the phone.  
"Good. Send the lights and Chr-uh, equipment over as well."

Wufei raised an eyebrow but then Une hung the phone up and looked at him expectantly.

"What is it?"

Wufei nodded toward the Commander's computer. "Sally called in, she's thinks she might have a lead."

Une spun her computer around so they could both see the screen and then entered Sally's code.

"Where's the location?"

"Colony 01, North side, Rimston Street." Sally informed them.

"Stay where you are, I'll send Wufei to help. Send me a copy of your data."

"Roger that." Sally sighed. Then the screen went blank. Une turned to Wufei.

"Looks like you lucked out of filing for a while."

The streets were covered in snow. The wind picked some of it up, blowing it this way and that as Wufei walked to the space port. By the time he got to the main gates, his hair had blown out of his ponytail and hung down to his shoulders. Grumbling, he tried to slick it back into his hair-tie. Failing, he sighed and walked up the stairs leading to the inspection office. The security guards called him over and Wufei flipped out his authorization for the gun they found in his jacket. They scanned the identification then nodded, letting him continue.

Wufei slept most of the flight, even though it was only a couple of hours. Yawning, he stepped out into the artificial lights, grabbed his luggage and took a cab to the north side.

The cab pulled up to a two-story house in a better part of the neighborhood. Wufei glanced around, surprised. While there wasn't any snow on the colony, the house owners were apparently getting into the Christmas season anyway. Many houses had lights strung up and nearly every house had a wreath of some kind hanging from the front door. Including the one he stood in front of. It wasn't quite what he'd had in mind when he'd envisioned a possible stakeout. Shrugging though, Wufei slung his duffel over a shoulder and waved off the taxi.

When he walked in, the smell of warm baked pastries greeted him. Sally poked her head into the hallway and smiled, "Hey, you made it."

Wufei just grunted and carried his bag to the room she indicated would be his.

Having quickly unpacked, he came down and found Sally in the kitchen. She was cooking what appeared to be Christmas decorated pastries, from muffins to cakes and many different kinds of cookies.

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "What's all this?"

"Well, since we'll probably be stuck here for the duration of the holidays, I think we should take a break and enjoy the holidays. I can't believe we're stuck on a dead-end mission a few days before Christmas!" Sally complained.

Wufei frowned. It didn't seem very professional, and Sally wasn't usually the type to blow off a mission, even if it was a cold case. "Personal feelings aside, we're here to do a job."

Sally picked a cookie up off a plate and stuffed it in his mouth. "No holiday spirit, I swear." She smiled. "Relax, Chang. It's Christmas. Now stop being such a stiff and help me finish these."

...to be continued...


	6. Tis the Season 'part II'

Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing and/or it's franchise. We didn't make any profit writing this story.

Warning: Wufei-ness, cliches, and much tongue in cheek

Author note: Co-written by TheSlyArbitrator and me. (Ok, so he wrote most of it). This is a two day Christmas Special and we hope you enjoy it.

_December 6th_

**Tis the Season...**

He spent the rest of the day helping Sally. At one point, the lid slipped off the blender causing whipped cream and strawberries to explode everywhere. Mostly on him. He stared at the mess in disgust. It took almost an hour to clean up and by the end his shirt could have blended with Relena's limo.

A low whistle startled him on his way back upstairs to get a new shirt. "Don't tell me you're getting lazy." Sally teased. "Are those rolls I see?"

Flabbergasted Wufei blinked and looked down to his stomach to see if she spoke the truth. "I don't have any rolls!"

Sally laughed, "I was only joking. Chang Wufei would never let something like a fat roll sneak up on him."

Wufei scowled, sensing she was making fun of him and stalked up the stairs.

It was the house next door that they were investigating. Sally said she'd gotten a lead that indicated the owner might have been part of the group that planned the assassination. What they needed though was more information. Later that night Wufei gathered his equipment, idly noting that it was Christmas Eve. Lights were on in the house next door and cars had been pulling up all evening. Judging it to be as good of at time as any, he informed Sally that he was going into the house to investigate.

"Well, be careful. There's more activity going on than I'm comfortable with." She called after him.

Wufei nodded and then set off, running quickly and sticking to the low brick wall that surrounded the property. After examining the house, he realized he'd have to try one of the upstairs windows. Thankfully Sally had included a grappling gun with her field equipment. He fired upwards and the spear plunged into the brick high above his head.

Once he got to the top, he yanked the wire from the brick and reeled it back into the gun. Grabbing the ledge, he dropped, easily swinging over to the window. Wufei crouched down low as he landed, blowing quietly on his stinging fingers. The temperature was dropping. Examining the window, he noticed that all of them had a security device installed. He remembered Duo showing him this latest version, extremely excited by the complexity of it. Wufei didn't have the time or patience to try and dismantle them.

Climbing back up to the roof, Wufei looked around at his options. Seeing no other way in, he grimaced. "I'm going to demand a raise for this." He mumbled, glaring down into the dark narrow chimney.

His breath blew out in puffs of white as he lowered a rope into the hole. Snowflakes started to drift down and he brushed them off his shoulder, glaring briefly at the sky. Apparently Sally wasn't the only one getting into the season. The climate controllers were having a go as well. _Ho bloody ho. _Shaking his head one last time he sighed and started to lower himself down. Ash and soot fell on him and in his hair as he slid down.

"Damn person didn't clean their chimney for Santa?"

More soot and ash fell on him as he got further in. "Now I know there's no such thing as St. Nick." He grouched. "No way in hell an old fat geezer like that would fit through one of these things."

Realizing talking was only getting soot in his mouth, he clamped it shut but continued his rant, focusing on that rather than how narrow the chimney was and how smoke-like he was not.

Squirming, he tried to draw his shoulder blades in as much as possible to make the decent smoother. _I can just see it. Law enforcement called up on Christmas morning. Some John Doe is lodged in the chimney. Death by asphyxiation. Though obesity not ruled out._

Employing an impressive vocabulary of swear words, he finally reached the bottom and landed on his butt. He quickly jumped up again though, cracking his head on the bricks. The bottom of the fireplace was banked with still warm coals.

"Who the hell uses a fireplace these days?" Wufei snarled quietly as he clutched his head and hopped about the room swatting at his smouldering rear. "Fireplaces. On a colony. You should have to put up a warning sign or something."

Still scowling he pulled his ponytail out and shook the soot out, trying to keep it as close to the fireplace as possible. The room was dark and stuffy and paintings hung on the walls. The mantle above the chimney had a small family crest. Wufei couldn't tell what the design was other than some sort of flying bird. Giving it one final curious glance, he quietly walked over to the one door in the room. Judging from the sounds coming from the crack under the door, there was a party in full swing on the other side. Carefully he tried the handle.

It was locked. Surprised, he glanced around the room and decided he'd ended up in someone's study. Spotting a heating duct on the wall, he walked over to examine it. He just might fit through there, it was a good thing he'd burned more of Sally's cookies than eaten.

Quickly unscrewing the duct cover, he dragged a chair over and crawled in. He grimaced and wiped a cobweb off his face. He was spending far too much time in dark, dirty and narrow places lately. Sliding inch by inch, he reached the room beyond and peeked through the small vents.

He'd been right about the Christmas party. A huge decorated tree stood in the corner while tinsel and mistletoe hung around the room. A group of people stood laughing holding glasses and a Santa Claus sat in a large green chair.

Oddly enough, he thought he recognized some of those people. Narrowing his eyes, he looked closer and growled under his breath. _What the hell_?

Suddenly, everything that had been bothering him since the beginning of this case clicked into place. Une's strange comments on the phone, Sally's odd behavior . . .

"So this is how it is, I should've known." Wufei glared, looking at the all to familiar faces below him.

Suddenly the grid over the duct made a groaning noise and he looked at it concerned. Trying to crawl backward to relieve the pressure, he felt the entire shaft shake. With a screech and thud, the heating duct tore free from its anchor and the cover flew off. Wufei had time to gasp before sliding down and spilling out into the air.

Heero looked up when he heard something that sound like metal ripping. He watched, startled, as Wufei came tumbling down from the ceiling and landed heavily on Santa's lap.

The Santa appeared rather shocked as he stared down at Wufei but then burst out laughing. "And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?"

Still chuckling, Santa's beard slid crooked and Wufei realized he was looking into eyes that belonged unmistakably to Duo Maxwell. Everyone in the room had become silent when he came crashing down and they stared for the length of several heartbeats. Soon though, the room was filled with laughter.

Between gasps, Duo managed,"You're supposed to ask for a present man, not try to jump Santa's bones."

Wufei growled and dropped his arms from where they clutched Duo around the shoulders struggling to free himself from the confines of the chair "Maxwell . . . I'm going to kill you. Slowly." Lunging for Duo's neck, he barely missed when the other man shot out of the chair, spilling Wufei onto the floor. Throwing a laughing comment about naughty boys and bags of coal, Duo tore up the stairs. Recovering quickly Wufei dashed after him, ignoring the laughter of the others in the room.

Later, Wufei rejoined the party to good-humored jests about his previous miraculous appearance. He hunted down Sally and found her talking to the Commander.

"Merry Christmas, Wufei."

He scowled and gestured to the room at large. "What is all this?"

Both women smiled but it was Sally who answered. "You always become so cranky and foul mouthed around this time of year. If we didn't know better, we'd think you hated the season or something. Everyone decided you needed to cheer up so we planned a party."

He folded his arms. "And the case we were working on?"

Une looked guilty and Sally grinned. "It was just a cover. Though we were expecting you to come in from the door, not the . . . " She trailed off when Wufei narrowed his eyes at her.

"It was locked." He ground out.

They looked puzzled. "I thought Duo was taking care of that."

He scowled but then looked around at everyone. They were all chatting and laughing; obviously having a good time. He sighed but then smiled a little wickedly. "Oh never mind. After all, Christmas comes but once a year."

Several hours later someone thought to ask about where their 'Santa' had gone. Wufei smirked. "Maybe he had a little too much of the Christmas spirit?"

Eventually the party wound down and everyone drifted home. A clock ticked over the hour. From upstairs came muffled bangs.

_Twas the night before Christmas . . . _

"Wufei?"

_And all through the house . . . _

"Let me out of this closet!"

_Not a creature was stirring . . . _

"Damn it."

_Not even a mouse._

"Wufei!"

...fin...


	7. If You Believe

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. I didn't make any profit writing this story. Though it did give me a great deal of pleasure.

Warning: None, 1+2 friendship story

_December 7th_

**If You Believe...**

I remember a conversation I had with Heero once. It was during the first war and one of the few times we found ourselves together. It was winter and the shop merchants had set out the Christmas displays. Wreaths hung from light posts and there was an air of expectation that was almost tangible. It had been snowing since the night before and the world was still frosted in white, dirt and slush not yet having had the chance to ruin it. As we walked, our steps were muffled and snowflakes continued to fall, sticking to our eyelashes and hair.

We had stopped at the town square, hovering on the edge, watching but not intruding. A sleigh had been set up and a man dressed as Santa Claus greeted children as they climbed up to sit in his lap. An assistant took their picture. After a brief conversation the child climbed down, a candy cane clutched in their hand.

Heero watched the proceedings with a scornful look on his face. "In this day and age everyone knows Santa Claus cannot be real."

I smiled and shrugged; rather amused by how annoyed he seemed over something so trivial. "They're only children, Heero. They believe what they want to."

"But surely they know that's the mayor."

Trust Heero to spot the man despite his wig and impressive set of whiskers. I wondered briefly what kind of child Heero must have been and if he'd been as cynical as a six year old as he was at sixteen.

"It's Christmas. If you're a child, this is magic time."

"I don't understand." He was looking at me then, as if I held all the answers in the world, or at least the key to this particular mystery.

I had sighed and done my best.

"You're missing the point Heero. It's not about truth and logic. It's about believing and wishing and dreaming."

He still looked incredulous. I decided to try another approach. "Santa Claus is like believing in peace. It's totally irrational, right? Impossible. There will always be fighting somewhere, hunger somewhere, pain somewhere . . . and yet . . . and yet we go on every day hoping that peace is possible."

His nodded slowly and I could tell he was thinking about my words.

"But I believe in Relena, and she's real."

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands inside the pockets of my coat. "Now who's listening for sleigh bells? You and I both know that no matter how much Relena practices pacifism and how much peace her new government could bring, it'll only be a surface patch."

He scowled and we watched the children in silence for a few minutes more before continuing our walk. What looked like two friends out enjoying the festivities on Christmas Eve were actually two wanted terrorists checking exit points and scanning for Oz soldiers.

More illusions. I wondered if we would ever be exactly what we seemed and glanced over at Heero, making a silent wish to the night.

A wish that, if the Gods didn't hear me, maybe the spirit of Christmas would.

_Please don't take him away. He has so much more to discover. I could show him if you let me. And even if you don't spare me, please don't take him._

I don't know if anything heard my wish that night, or if fate just decided to give us a break. But Heero survived despite all odds, and I was right there by his side.

In the end the big things do not give our life meaning but the small every day acts we practice. As I help another child climb into the sleigh where Santa sits, I remember my wish and smile. The little girl stares intently at the man dressed all in red and white and thinks for a moment before finally blurting out, "Are you really Santa Claus?"

Blue eyes twinkle and behind a thick white beard, Heero grins. "I am if you believe it so."


	8. In Those Eyes

Warning/Pairing: None. Howard-centric.

_December 8th_

**In Those Eyes...**

He wondered if he was getting too old for this. His mind might be spry but his joints were starting to betray him in the mornings. A creak here, a groan there. He wasn't over the hill yet, but he was no spring chicken either.

But then maybe it was just the latest member to his crew that was making him feel his age. He looked at the boy perched up on the bow of his ship and shook his head.

_What have we done to our children?_

When the boy introduced himself Howard had silently wondered where he'd really come from. He had a sharp mind and easy grin but his eyes . . . he had eyes that said, 'I've seen the world and it ain't no bed of roses.' Hard eyes.

_Eyes of the old._

It was warm here. Somewhere in the world, snowflakes were falling, maybe eggnog was being made and people were gathering to sing carols.

There were no carols on this ship. The clangs of machinery and the thrum of the engine were the sounds that greeted each day, every one much like the next. His men didn't mind, they liked the heat and their suntans and the bikini clad women.

He was rather fond of the shirts himself.

"Hey kid."

The boy looked up from where he sat and cocked his head in question. Howard stared out at the blue expanse before them, and leaned against the rail. "You ever see snow?"

The boy shook his head, "First time on Earth old man."

Howard nodded. "If you get the chance, you should see it. It's a sight to behold."

Squinting in the sunlight, the boy studied Howard for a moment and then shrugged one shoulder carelessly. "Sure. I'll keep that in mind."

The tone decided it. Reaching into his pocket, Howard pulled out a small package. There hadn't been any real wrapping paper so the best he'd managed was last months' pin-up. Miss November did as good of a job as any.

"Here."

He tossed the package and the boy caught it, hand extending almost lazily to snatch it out of the air.

Puzzled, he pulled off the paper, smirking at the picture before offering it back. Howard shook his head and the boy gave him a steady look before folding it carefully and putting it in his pocket.

Then he stared down wordlessly at the pair of sunglasses clutched in his hand.

"Consider it a Christmas present." And then Howard walked away. He hoped someday the boy did get to see snow.

A little wonder . . . might soften those eyes.


	9. Open Doors

Warning/Pairing: 4x3 Post Endless-Waltz

_December 9th_

**Open Doors**

Trowa was standing outside my house with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. I pushed open the window and stuck my head out to glare at him. "I suppose you want me to let you in?"

"Merry Christmas, Quatre."

"Christmas was a week ago." I pointed out, picking up the apple I'd brought upstairs to eat while I read my book.

"Happy New Year's Eve, then."

"If you got here any later, you'd have missed that as well." I weighed the apple in my hand. Society dictated that proper gentlemen did not throw temper tantrums. I nodded.

Then I leaned out and threw the apple as hard as I could. He dodged exactly the way I thought he might and I smirked when the apple nailed him hard in the shoulder.

"Fuck!" He grabbed his arm and glared up at me and I smiled and shrugged.

"Oops, it slipped."

Irritation quickly slid into indignant surprise. "Are you mad about something?"

I would have thrown another apple but I'd only brought the one with me. I settled for pointing my finger at him instead.

"If you ever pull another double-agent/triple-agent stunt without telling me, I'm going to have to break your legs." I informed him sweetly. Then I shut the window and went downstairs to let him in.

Trowa was a lot like a stray cat. He'd wander in and stay for a couple days or sometimes a couple weeks and then wander away again. I enjoyed his company when he was here, and swore I wouldn't let him back in every time he left.

He never wrote or called. He'd just show up, bag in hand and wait until I opened the door.

And damn him if I didn't every time.

He dropped his bag on the floor in the entry way and I ignored it, heading toward the library to find the Christmas gift I'd stuck in a drawer somewhere. He followed behind me, footsteps silent.

He was always silent. Never making a sound as he moved around. It probably would have bothered me more if I hadn't become used to it when Duo stayed with me during the first war. That man could stalk his own shadow.

"I have something for you." I told him, opening and closing drawers, shoving papers aside and trying to remember where the hell I put that present.

He carefully moved the fencing foil off the sofa and propped it in the corner of the room. "Were you going to run me through as well?"

I paused in my search, startled, and then laughed. "No, Dorothy stopped by to talk about some project or other. Melon-fencing, I think she called it."

He looked at me quizzically and I shrugged. "Apparently some of her friends have too much time and not enough to do."

I pulled the last drawer open and found the package I'd been looking for. "Here you go."

He took it from me but didn't look at it, instead raising a hand to touch a spot on my side making me shiver. "Dorothy and swords are a bad combination."

I shook my head, "It's not like she was asking me to be the melon. Mostly she just wanted to know if I knew anyone who might be interested."

He wasn't really listening though, intent on pulling my shirt out of my pants which was making it rather difficult to concentrate. "You know . . . "

"Yes?" He looked up at me then and I lost the urge to finish my sentence. Instead I pulled his face close to mine and kissed him.

I could chew him out some more later. In the meantime, it was New Year's Eve and I planned to celebrate in style.


	10. Writing Letters

Warning/Pairing: Language, Heero and Duo, Post-Endless Waltz

_December 10th_

**Writing Letters**

I found him sitting on a beach flirting with a girl in a bikini. His hair had been cut short, chin length, and I wondered about the loss of his braid. He gestured as he spoke and the girl laughed in response, touching his arm casually.

He wasn't wearing black either, though I suppose that shouldn't have surprised me. We were on a beach in the tropics. Instead of the black I was used to, he was wearing swimming trunks and a pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt.

I always knew Howard was going to rub off on him one day.

The girl in the bikini looked at me as I approached and I could tell she thought I was going to try and pick her up. I ignored her and shoved my hands farther down in my pockets.

"Hello Duo."

He stopped talking mid-sentence, his back suddenly rigid. Then he turned and scowled.

"Shit."

I smirked. "Oh good, you haven't forgotten me."

Five years is not so long. The last time I saw Duo Maxwell, he was slung over Trowa's shoulder and I was racing away, guns firing behind me.

Now he was glaring as if he'd like to put a bullet in me himself. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. I glanced down at the girl and Duo flashed her a fast smile. He made some comment about enjoying the rest of her vacation and then stood up, brushing the sand off his shorts.

I followed him up the beach, wanting to reach over and touch the ends of his hair. I'd never told him how much I liked to watch it hair in the sun. When the light hit it right, it glowed in streaks of red and gold.

"What're you doing here, Yuy?" He pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and slid them on.

"You get Quatre's invitation?"

He didn't say anything, just kicked a piece of drift wood. The beach was becoming more rugged and there were houses dotted along the coast tucked up between rocks and the trees.

"You won't go." It wasn't a question and I knew the answer.

"Never do."

I nodded and we didn't speak again until we stopped in front of a small bungalow. He marched up the steps and shouldered open the screen door. "Welcome to my bit of paradise."

"Is it really?" I couldn't help but ask. If he really had found happiness then I'd turn and leave, but something Wufei had said . . .

"Ah well." He tossed his sunglasses on the table and shrugged again. "Sometimes anyway."

. . .something Wufei had said made me think I had a chance.

"What are you doing here Heero?" He offered me a bottle of beer from a small fridge and I took it with a nod of thanks.

"I never go to Quatre's party either."

The house wasn't very large. We'd walked into an open front room. The kitchen area was on one side and a wooden table sat against the window on the other. Straight ahead was a small living area and I could see a couch and the corner of a desk. I assumed another door in there led to the bedroom and bathroom.

I liked it. More than anything I wanted to stay.

Apparently Duo expected a lengthier explanation and was standing there holding his own beer staring at me with a puzzled look on his face.

"It's Christmas." I told him.

He snorted in disgust and pulled out a chair at the table. "It's Christmas every year."

"I've always been busy before." It was true. The last five years I'd spent Christmas in L1, Africa, L4, New York and last year, Russia. I'd seen more hotel rooms than Christmas cards.

"You could write." He informed me, arms folded defiantly.

In defense I pointed out the obvious. "You never did."

"I didn't owe me an apology."

Right. I'd always meant to do that.

_I'm sorry I decked you and then left. I'm sorry I never got back to you. Sorry I didn't tell you that I've always wanted to jump your bones . . . _

Might be better to hold off on that last one. At least until he stopped gripping his beer bottle so tightly.

"You know, ironically it's Wufei who writes the most. I get these obnoxiously healthy emails. On good days they read like Preventer recruiting advertisements. On bad days he threatens to quit his job and move in with me."

That seemed like good place to jump in.

"I quit my job at Preventers. Can I move in with you?"

He looked up sharply and I met his gaze without flinching. I was serious. It'd just taken me a damn long time to figure out.

"What the fuck, Yuy."

So I told him. It took four more bottles of beer and the sun had set before I got it all out. The years alone. The time spent watching friends and their families get together and always feeling a little left out. How I realized one night as I lay in a seedy hotel room in some backwater town in Mexico that I really didn't like my job. And I missed my best friend.

And then I told him that I'd always wanted to jump his bones.

He didn't say anything for a long time. Just sat looking at me, occasionally taking a pull from his bottle. Finally he stood up and disappeared into the other room without a word.

I'm familiar with the sound that personal devastation makes. It's a ringing in the ears. I sat at that small wooden table, with my head bowed and couldn't hear a damn thing except a solid numbing scream. I nearly jumped out of the chair when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"If you're going to stay, you'll need a new wardrobe."

I looked stupidly at the blue Hawaiian shirt he was holding out to me. And then I blinked up at him. "I can stay?"

"You're such an idiot, Heero." He told me. "All you ever had to do was write."


	11. When You're In Need

Warning: Language, angst, Duo POV

**When You're In Need**

You want to know the truth of it? The truth is that Thomas Hardy was right. When you need somebody to come the most, nobody comes. When all it would take to make things better is a kind word or hug from a friend, you find yourself all alone. _Because nobody ever comes._

That's why I'm here alone in a hospital at ten thirty at night, waiting for the doctor to clear me. It's Christmas Eve, and not even the attempts of tinsel and decorations can change the fact that this is a damn depressing place to be.

The nurse had been nice enough and efficient, but you could tell she didn't want to be here any more than me.

It was just supposed to be a simple mission. I hadn't expected the guy I'd been assigned to bring in suddenly freak and turn himself into a human bomb. I definitely hadn't been expecting him to jump into my car. Or actually blow himself up. And take my car with him.

Fortunately for me I had been on my way out of the car at the time. Still, getting knocked out after flying ass over teakettle across a parking lot is no way to spend your holidays.

The doctor looked tired when he came in. "Good news Mr. Maxwell. No skull damage or concussion. You're good to go. You will be rather sore for the next few days. I'm still amazed you didn't break any bones. Paramedics said you must have been thrown a good five yards."

I didn't tell him I'd been a Gundam pilot. Wouldn't want to possibly ruin what was left of his Christmas. I settled for a thank you and quickly signed myself out of there.

Hospitals are fucking depressing places.

My car was in little itty bitty pieces all over a parking lot. Somebody was going to be in for a nasty surprise the next time they got to work and discovered Max's Adult Videos was missing its store front. Merry Christmas from me to you.

I'd tried calling one of the guys to come pick me up but nobody had been answering their phone. Not surprising I guess considering the holiday. Still, it would have been nice to not be alone. Or have to walk. No cabs out this late on Christmas Eve.

The hospital was a forty minute walk from my apartment and I trudged down the street, pulling my coat closer and ignoring the cold as much as I could.

My poor car.

It wasn't until I got all the way home and stood stupidly in front of my door that I realized I didn't have any keys. They'd been in the car.

I tried calling Heero again, but all I got was a busy signal. He'd mentioned something about having dinner with Relena so I guess I couldn't really expect him to drive all the way here to help me break into my place anyway.

Trouble with living in Preventer housing. The apartments had great security. Which I could get through but I'd need a few more tools than my cell phone and the loose change in my wallet. I'm good but I'm not quite that good.

I'd had some really nice tools in my car. They'd been a gift from Howard last year.

Oh but my car. And the presents I'd been carrying in the trunk. They were gone. I kicked my door a couple times and then turned sliding down to sit with my back resting against it.

My head hurt. And it was cold.

I'd bought the car last year. It'd been the first big purchase I'd ever made and I'd spent weeks agonizing over which model and color. I'd called in all the guys for their opinion and begged Heero to spend a couple hours helping me reconfigure the engine. It'd been a sweet piece of machinery.

I didn't realize I was crying until my nose started to run. I felt totally ridiculous but I couldn't seem to stop. My car, the presents inside, Howard's gift, all the other various things I'd collected the past year . . . none of it was that important.

And yet I still cried. Sitting there in the dark and cold, wiping snot and tears and finally just giving it up to put my head down in my arms.

Maybe I had a concussion after all.

Somewhere out on the street a car screeched to a stop and doors slammed. There was running feet and suddenly Heero came racing around the corner with the other guys behind him. He stopped when he saw me and I would have laughed at the pile up it caused if I hadn't been busy trying to wipe my face dry.

Then they were crouched down in front of me, touching my hair, checking my eyes, asking me over and over if I was ok.

"My car got blown up." I told them.

They knew. They'd been worried.

"I'm sorry, but all your presents are gone. And I can't get in my apartment." I started to laugh but when it turned into tears again, they held me and told me it would be ok.

And I believed them. Because it was.

Thomas Hardy's full of shit.


	12. A Helping Hand

Warning/Pairing: Shifting viewpoints between characters, eventual sap

_December 12th_

**A Helping Hand**

It was a week before Christmas and Sally's roof had developed a leak. Water was dripping down from her dining room ceiling. She'd placed several pots about, but with snow and the sunny weekend they'd just had, she was changing them more frequently than she'd like. She'd only moved into the house a month ago. Nobody had said anything about leaky roofs. Everyone talked about the joys of being a home owner. At the moment she wasn't really feeling the joy. When she called up the roof people, they'd refused to come out until after the holidays. If she wanted a patch done sooner, she'd have to do it herself. _Is it too late to move back into my condo?_

_-0-_

Trowa had lost the silver ring Quatre gave him last year. They'd gone to the park to watch the birds. Goofing off, he'd thrown a snowball at a nearby crow and the ring had slipped right off his finger. They spent an hour looking for it without success. It had either landed deep in the snow somewhere or fallen into the river. Either way he probably wouldn't get it back. Quatre hadn't been too upset but Trowa knew the ring meant a lot and felt awful for losing it. _I should have been more careful._

_-0-_

Heero spent the entire day shopping for Duo and only found gloves. He hated shopping and had put it off until the very last possible day. He didn't get home until nearly eight o' clock at night. All he had to show for the days effort was a small red bag with a pair of winter gloves inside. He knew Duo had found him several nice gifts and it made Heero feel even worse. Looking down at the small bag clutched in his hand he threw it on the couch in disgust. Head resting against the doorframe he pictured Christmas day and Duo's excited face. Heartbroken and angry at himself, he punched the wall by the door. _Merry Christmas Duo, sorry I'm such a loser._

_-0-_

Quatre snapped the antenna off his car in the carwash. It'd been too cold to wash the car himself so he'd taken it to the drive through. He hadn't been paying attention though and forgot to turn off the radio. A loud snap and then silence as the music disappeared, was his only reminder. He stood outside the car staring at the jagged piece of metal that was sticking off his roof and groaned. _Way to go moron._

_-0-_

Duo broke the coffee pot that morning. It had slipped out of his hands and he watched it fall as if in slow motion before shattering on the floor. Hot coffee soaked his pants, scalding his skin and he winced as a piece of glass sliced into his hand. The coffee maker was a complex dual steamer with blender and attached grinder. Une had ordered it as a special treat for the office and he knew she was going to kill him. _That'll definitely be coming out of my paycheck._

_-0-_

Wufei arrived at the office and found his co-workers in various states of depression. Sally was on the phone swearing at someone. Heero was at his desk refusing to talk to anyone. Trowa kept fiddling with his left hand and throwing guilty looks at Quatre. Who was at his desk staring glumly down at what looked like a radio antenna. Duo wasn't at his desk, but Wufei could hear the Commander ripping him a new one in her office. Something about trusting him with a gun and coffee.

He was a good listener though and eventually by the afternoon he'd discovered what was bothering his friends. He felt terrible that they'd all had such miserable weekends. Well Duo technically was having a lousy Monday but it didn't sound like his weekend had been that great either. It didn't seem right that everyone should be so upset when it was supposed to be the holidays.

Coming to a decision he picked up the phone and made a couple calls.

An hour later there was a deli sandwich and note sitting on every desk. Sally picked up her note in surprise, peering at the sandwich in pleasure. She'd been running late this morning trying to find someone to come fix the roof and she hadn't had time to pack her lunch. The note was brief.

_Sally. Enjoy the sandwich. I'll come help you patch your roof this afternoon before it gets dark. I already ok'd it with Une. Consider it an early Christmas present. -W_

Heero eyed the roast beef sandwich on his desk suspiciously but then read the note from Wufei and relaxed. He'd planned on skipping lunch, hoping to get out to try and find a present for Duo. Now he wouldn't have to.

_Heero. You shouldn't miss meals. I'm pretty sure there is a portable hard drive and set of speakers Duo has been coveting at the electronic store. You have plenty of time to go after work. I've got wrapping paper in the backseat of my car if you need any. -W_

Trowa picked up the tuna sandwich and glanced over where Quatre appeared to be buried in paperwork. He didn't think the food and note had come from him. Curious, he flipped open the note and read while he ate.

_Trowa. Chances are you won't find the ring but this is the address of the jeweler where Quatre got it. Maybe you could pick up something for him this time as well. I hear engravings are very nice. -W_

Duo wasn't eating because he figured he'd better start saving if a new coffee machine was coming out of his pocket. Which was why he knew he hadn't ordered any food. The turkey club sitting on his desk had a piece of paper taped to it with this name on it though.

_Duo. Don't let Une get to you. Coffee pots that expensive have custom-made components. This is the number of the company that designed ours. They can replace just the pot for you. -W_

Quatre came back to his desk with a bottle of water and tried to remember if he had a candy bar stuck in his drawer. For some reason Christmas time always meant more paperwork. Puzzled, he picked up the egg salad sandwich that was sitting on his desk. Nearly groaning in relief he looked at the note to see who had known he was missing lunch.

_Quatre. You know, the warranty is still good on your car. They'll fix the antenna. Eat the sandwich. I took half your paperwork. Go home on time tonight, I think Trowa needs a hug. -W_

Wufei sat in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. A half-eaten sandwich clutched in one hand and a soda in the other. He rather felt a bit like Santa Claus and chuckled quietly to himself. He raised his can in a silent toast to his friends and their happiness. _May peace and joy bless you always._


	13. Home for the Holidays

Disclaimer/Pairing: 1x2, fluffy sap

Author note: This is a sequel to Writing Letters...

_December 13th_

**Home for the Holidays**

Duo really has developed an affinity for Hawaiian shirts. He has shirts with hula dancers, shirts with palm trees, shirts with palm leaves, giant orchids and one really obnoxious one with pineapples all over it.

In spirit of the season though, and as his only concession to the holiday, tonight he was wearing a red and green Hawaiian shirt with Santas on it. Who were also wearing Hawaiian shirts.

The monstrosity was nearly enough to make my eyes hurt and I made a note to remove it from his person as soon as possible. The sooner the better.

In fact, right now sounded pretty good.

He'd propped open the screen door and was standing barefoot in the doorway, listening to the surf and drinking a beer. He had been rather quiet all evening since he got home from work. I suspected it was because of the day, Christmas isn't a holiday filled with beautiful memories for everyone.

I walked over to stand by him and we stood there listening to the waves and until he finally spoke.

"It's been an entire year."

I hummed in response and rested my chin on his shoulder, enjoying the way he scooted back a little so we were pressed together.

"Do you still think you made the right decision?" He turned slightly to look at me and I realized he was serious and expected a response.

I tipped my head back to study the stars, pulling him closer and wrapping my arms around him. "I wonder. Every day I wake up and find you next to me. Every day I come home and I'm not alone. Every day I have somebody to laugh with, argue with, play with . . . make love with. What is there to regret?"

He snorted, "You're such a sap."

I grinned. "By the way Maxwell, have I told you how much I despise this particular shirt of yours?"

He laughed. "Hey man, where's your Christmas spirit?" He stepped away to spin slowly in a circle, his arms outstretched. "This is a classic. I cannot believe you are dissing this shirt."

I reached forward to snag him by the belt loops and pulled him closer. "Palm trees are classic. _This_ is what happens when dogs eat wrapping paper and throw up."

While he was making a disgusted face at me, I took the opportunity to unbutton the offending article of clothing. Tossing it out the door, I grabbed him by the waistband of his shorts and dragged him toward the bedroom.

"Let me demonstrate to you _my _version of Christmas spirit." His snickers were cut off when I pushed him down against the bed and kissed him.

I loved kissing Duo. The way he always pressed back fiercely, thrusting his tongue in and pulling me as close as he could.

I loved the way he groaned and ground up against me, wrapped his legs around mine and called out my name.

I loved the way he said my name.

I loved lying there and seeing him above me, the moonlight behind him and making him glow. I loved the sweat and friction as our bodies moved together, the sound of the bed shifting and the feeling of his bare skin against mine.

I loved the feeling of him inside me, on me, all around me. And I loved filling him and holding him close as if I could melt into him and become a whole new being.

He's crazy if he thinks I could ever regret this. Regret coming to him. Regret being with him. If there is anything I regret, it's that it took me so long to get here.

Home for the holidays. I've had a lot of holidays, but this is the first year I've ever had a home.


	14. Found

Warning: Dr. J and Heero. Sort of like the Howard/Duo story. This focuses on J's first encounter with Heero and his impression.

December 14th

**Found**

J was avoiding the holiday crowds by walking down back streets, when he found him. The boy had been sitting tucked away in the corner of an alley, next to a crate with old lettuce and a pile of cardboard boxes. Despite the grubbiness of his face, had an air about him that didn't belong on the typical street urchin. It wasn't hostility or wariness, J wasn't sure he could pinpoint the feeling and this he found interesting.

He paused and stepped closer. The boy didn't flinch or cower, he just continued to study J with calm flat eyes. And then J knew. This boy was it. If J had been inclined, he would have done a celebratory dance right in the street. This boy. This boy, would be his.

"You have good eyes." J informed him.

_The eyes of a killer._

The child continued to watch him in silence and J felt some of his elation sink away with the possibility that the urchin was just another reject from society, no more intelligent than a dog.

He decided to try a more direct approach and stared down at the child, hands propped on his cane. "How old are you, boy?"

"Why do you need to know?" The answer surprised J. It wasn't delivered aggressively, if this child had a chip on his shoulder he didn't display it openly. In fact the question had been asked in a tone that followed J's own spirit of inquiry.

"So I can gather more information."

The child seemed to find this an acceptable response and tipped his head to the side to peer up at J through dark messy bangs. "Sometimes I'm four. Sometimes I'm five. Once I was six."

That was unexpected. "Do you have a name?"

The child seemed to think about this for a moment and then shrugged. "I've had many."

_Oh my young one, you've been around, haven't you?_

"You can call me Dr. J."

The boy looked at him, a flash of skepticism appearing quickly before leaving, the first expression to cross his face. "J isn't a name."

"Well at least it's something, _boy_."

Interestingly, his needling seemed to have little effect on the child. Rather, he seemed to think about the comment for a moment before responding with one of his own. "Names aren't important. People believe what they want to."

Oh, but J _liked _this child.

"Do you have a home boy? Parents? A little puppy to play with perhaps?"

"No. I finished the job. Now I have nowhere to go." He didn't seem upset by this, rather pragmatic for a four-year-old, five-year-old, one time six-year-old.

"You don't have anyone waiting for you?" J wondered why he felt like the wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel. For a brief moment he experienced guilt but quickly banished the feeling.

"He's dead."

And today truly was Christmas. J rubbed his chin thoughtfully, eyeing the child and then looking around the alley. "Would you like to come with me?"

The boy didn't move, just continued to watch J with those perfect flat eyes. "Why would I like to do that?"

"You could be warm and have clothes. Eat regular meals. If you're good, I might find you some toys."

The child looked up at him, clearly scornful. "You are being condescending."

J barked a laugh, amused. "Indeed I was. You are correct. However, I can provide you with an education and training for your body."

For the first time the child appeared interested and his eyes flashed briefly. "What sort of training?"

J reached into his pocket to pull out a watch, checking the time before shoving it back. "Physical training, weapons training, maybe even pilots training."

"I've had weapons training."

And then the boy pulled a gun from under his shirt and pointed it at J. He decided that gawking was beneath him so he chose to chuckle instead. "Well."

For the first time the boy stood up. He wasn't tall, being only a child and a rather scrawny one. J noted that despite the weight of the gun, the boy's hand did not shake and he held the weapon with a surety that only came from experience.

J smirked. "That makes my job easier."

They stood and looked at each other, boy sizing up man and man sizing up the boy. Finally the gun was whisked away back under the child's shirt and he stood in front of J, arms at his side.

"You aren't afraid to come with me?" J felt the need to ask. Even if he was a strangely cognizant child, he still was just a child.

The boy folded his arms, legs apart and shook his head. "No. Should I be?"

J held up his hand, the one with the prosthetic hook. "Well I'm no Santa Claus," He told the child dryly.

Once again, a scornful look was directed at him and the boy snorted in apparent disgust. "I didn't think you were."

J made no further comment, just led them out the alley way and back onto the street. He looked down at the child by his side and wondered at his own whimsy.

_Well little boy, I may be no Santa Claus, but you just might be our savior._


	15. Run Over

Warning: Unrepentant Relena bashing. Some 1x2 mentioned and a whole lot of silliness.

December 15th

**Run Over**

When the news hit Preventers there was shocked silence. And then Duo asked the question everyone had on their mind.

"Should we open up her gifts or send them back?"

Noin did her best to look appalled but Wufei and Trowa nodded solemnly. "Take them back."

It had been an accident they said. Relena had been touring a colony on Christmas Eve. Having been drinking eggnog at a benefit, she was quite inebriated. Drunk as a skunk, she staggered out into the snow-covered street, not realizing there was a Christmas parade in progress and was tragically run over by Santa's sleigh.

"Was it horses or actual reindeer?" Quatre asked. He was writing the obituary. Nobody was sure, but they thought it might have been horses.

"Tis a pity," He mused. "'Horse' just doesn't have quite the alliterative quality as reindeer."

They wondered if they should continue to have their Christmas party as planned, it just wouldn't be the same without Relena. Who would oversee the Christmas decorations? Who would string up the miles of mistletoe? There would be nobody to chase Heero around the house. In the end they decided to go ahead with their plans. They would just have to make do without her.

Everyone thought Heero was holding up remarkably well. Duo was staying with him and they sat around with the guys throwing back shots and playing poker. Eventually, Heero announced he needed a moment and left the room. A quiet word to the guys and Duo went after him.

Several hours later Sally wandered into the pantry for more sugar cookies and found Heero and Duo on the floor. Celebrating Christmas in their own special way. She smiled. It was so good that Duo was willing to help out Heero in his time of need. Heero must be feeling lonely without Relena and his yearly dose of mistletoe molestation.

Zechs had come to the Christmas party dressed in black, well he had black on his tie. It had a picture of Santa going down the chimney. They all thought it quite in good taste and told him so. After offering consolations over his loss of course. He thanked them all politely and agreed with Quatre that reindeer really did sound better than horses and nobody would know the difference anyway.

"What did you get her?" Wufei asked Trowa, as they were putting wrapped presents in a large sack.

"Moleskin day planner." He paused for a moment and then pulled a package back out of the bag. "On second thought, I think Quatre would like this. I'll give it to him instead."

Wufei nodded wisely. "I'd bought her a sweater, I'd give it to Sally but it's too small. And pink."

Trowa agreed that was unfortunate. There was no accounting for taste really.

The dinner was delicious. At one point when they were passing around the cranberry sauce, Une became quite choked up. "It's the color of the dress she was wearing the last time I saw her."

They sighed and took a moment to reflect on their loss. Then Heero cut the pumpkin pie and passed around the pieces. Whipped cream made everything better.

"Does anybody know who the driver of the sleigh was?" Zechs asked at one point. "Somebody should really send the man something, he must feel awful."

They all agreed to chip in a hundred bucks each to send to the fellow. It was Christmas after all.

As everyone parted ways that evening, they all agreed; it just hadn't been the same without Relena there.

It had been a lovely Christmas.


	16. When You're Not There

Warning/Pairing: 4x3, sap and fluff

_December 16th_

**When You're Not There**

Trowa doesn't sleep in our bed when I'm not there. I didn't know that, at least not until I got home early from a business trip tonight and found him curled up on the couch with a pillow and blanket. I took my bag upstairs and found the bed perfectly made, just missing the pillow. I'm the only person who makes the bed; Trowa prefers it messy so I knew it hadn't been slept in since the last time I made it. I hadn't been home in a week.

It was Christmas Eve, which is why I had cancelled meetings and rushed through meetings to get back home. Even so, it was nearly two o'clock in the morning and I was exhausted.

I'm gone a lot. Trowa never says anything, just helps me pack my bag, makes sure I have spare ties and reminds me to come home soon. He keeps busy while I'm gone; does repairs around the house, has hobbies such as restoring old motorcycles, visits friends and does part-time work for Preventers.

That doesn't change the fact though that I'm often gone more than I'm at home; I've been especially busy these past two months. I'd been asked to perform as a moderator between two merging companies and the process was slow and time consuming.

The lights on the tree were blinking on and off occasionally. The colors flashed softly against Trowa's face and I stood there in awe thinking that this must be what peace felt like because I couldn't describe the feeling as any other.

I crouched down in front of the couch, knowing that my presence would wake him, especially since I wasn't supposed to be home. Even though he still looked asleep, I knew for a fact he wasn't and called out to him quietly.

"Trowa."

He smiled and the lights chose that moment to flash, making his eyes shine like a cat.

He pushed his blanket down and wrapped arms around me, pulling me toward him. I crawled under the covers and snuggled in, enjoying his warmth and the solidness of him beside me.

I could tell he was drifting asleep again, his breath was evening out and his arms relaxed their hold on me. But I wanted to know what he was doing here and not in bed, so I lifted a hand to run it through his hair.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?"

Trowa doesn't like having his hair messed with and I chuckled softly when he scowled slightly, half asleep. Finally he pulled me closer but cracked open an eye to peer at me. "What?"

I laughed. "Why are you sleeping on the couch?"

"It's here." Ok, so maybe he wasn't quite as awake as I first thought. I poked him gently and tried again.

"So is the bed. And it's bigger."

This time he rolled over so he was on his back and pulled me on top of him. "But it's cold. And smells like you but you're not there when I wake up."

I was silent then, his comment wasn't meant to be a reproach, but he probably wouldn't have said it if I'd asked him in the morning. Which was all the more telling. I knew he missed me when I was gone but not sleeping in our bed . . . I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry.

I tried to sit up to look at him better but he held me tighter, and I gave up and let him hold me. "I'm sorry," I told him.

He grumbled and patted me absently on the back. "So stop moving so much." And then he was too asleep to answer anymore, hair falling out of his face so I could see him clearly.

_So stop moving so much._

I knew he meant stop squirming. He's said something similar to me almost every Saturday we've ever slept in. I get up early Monday thru Friday so it's difficult to adjust to sleeping in. I want to be up and about but Trowa has told me many times that getting out of bed at six in the morning on a Saturday is grounds for a psychiatric evaluation.

But this time I listened and heard all the words he wasn't saying as well. I thought about all the meals he eats alone, all the nights he must sleep on the couch because our bed is too lonely.

Even the Christmas tree; he'd insisted we put it up and decorate two weeks ago because he knew I would be gone the week before Christmas.

And he'd wanted to decorate it together.

I imagined him home alone decorating the tree and my eyes started to burn so I turned my head to bury my face in his neck.

I know that _didn't_ happen but it _could_ have. When did I stop thinking about Trowa and more about when my next flight was? When did work become more important than my loved ones?

I hadn't even bought Christmas presents for anyone because I wasn't going to be home for Christmas. I was deeply ashamed to admit I'd been cruising airport gift shops for potential presents just that evening. Here Trowa, Merry Christmas. Have a rock that was stamped in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

I realized that this was unacceptable and made a decision. I shifted, inching out of his arms and slid off the couch. I pulled the blanket up more firmly around his shoulders and then quietly went into the study and shut the door.

If my plan was going to succeed, I had work to do.

o

Trowa woke up slowly the next morning. He squinted from the sun shining in his eyes and lay there for a moment, warm and remembering his dream. He'd been sleeping with Quatre. Trowa didn't remember details, Quatre's laugh, a hand against his cheek. Mostly it was just the feeling of having someone with you, warm and _there_.

The tree seemed to mock Trowa with its presents below, none of which Quatre would be seeing for several more days. He groaned and threw off the blanket, standing and wincing when his neck cracked. The couch wasn't as nice of a place to sleep as the bed but in a way it was more comfortable. Trowa was drinking his first cup of coffee and watching the snow sparkle outside when he realized that he'd been ignoring a nagging feeling ever since he woke up. It _felt_ like he wasn't alone. It was almost as if Quatre was just in the shower or upstairs in bed.

Annoyed, Trowa decided to email Wufei and ask if he had any plans for the day. If nothing else they could get together and watch football on TV.

But when he went into the study there was already somebody there. Quatre in fact. Fast asleep at his desk, head in his arms, a pen still clutched in one hand.

Trowa stood in the doorway, confused and then realized he must not have been dreaming last night and smiled. Quatre had made it home for Christmas.

There were papers all over the desk, but from what Trowa could tell they were sorted and completed. He picked one up and looked it over. It appeared to be a letter explaining that Winner Enterprises was downsizing and reducing its involvement in the business world. WE would no longer be available for mediation or other consultation arrangements. Another letter was addressed to Quatre's sister and appeared to be turning over most of the company's day to day operations to her.

Trowa reached out and took the pen from Quatre's hand. He walked around behind the desk and dropped to his knees, resting his head on the other man's leg. Quatre shifted and then sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey." Trowa looked up to meet Quatre's gaze.

"I don't have a Christmas present for you." Quatre told him bitterly.

Trowa stood up and pulled the other man up with him, wrapping him in a hug and holding him close.

"That's not true. You just gave me the best present of all."


	17. The Finest of Christmas Traditions

Warning/Pairing: 1x2, this is a peek back into the world of "Happily Ever After"

**Happily Ever After**

_The Finest of Christmas Traditions . . . _

There was a wreath on our front door.

I guess that meant it was officially the Christmas season. Deck the halls with boughs of blah, blah blah.

Heero had somehow gotten the idea that now we were homeowners it was our duty to decorate it. With lights outside. And stuff inside. Green and red stuff. That sparkly puffy metaly stuff . . . tinsel I think they call it.

A pain in the ass is more like it. We have tinsel everywhere now. On the carpet, in my hair, in my clothes, I was even picking tinsel out of my pancakes this morning.

Actually Heero informed me that it was technically called "garland" and that there were many different kinds. For example, we would be putting another form of garland on the tree tonight. An old-fashioned version where you strung popcorn and cranberries on a string. I didn't roll my eyes. But it was a damn near thing.

Popcorn. And Cranberries. For fucks sake.

Though I admit, I did enjoy watching Heero crawl around setting up the tree. Not only did I get a splendid view of his ass, and let me tell you, Heero Yuy has a _fine _ass; but I also got to listen to him swear and rant as he took the tree back outside to saw off several more inches from the bottom.

I'm not a total humbug. I helped. I held the door open for him on his way out.

While he was outside with the handsaw, I peeked into the bags of decorations he'd bought. There were bows and some candles, gift bags, something I hoped wasn't supposed to be a present for me, a wooden nutcracker, though he looked too fragile for any real purpose, and boxes of ornaments for the tree. I was intrigued by a sprig of green I found in a separate bag and smirked when I realized what it was. Checking to make sure Heero was still outside, I carried it into the bedroom and hid it in my underwear drawer. I knew exactly what I was going to do with it.

Several hours later and Heero had flopped onto the sofa looking entirely too pleased with himself. Our house was transformed. Nobody can say Heero doesn't do a job throughly when he sets his mind to it. Icicle lights were strung from the eaves and we even had a snowman. Actually I'd been in charge of the snowman, which was why ours was upside down, on his head.

Heero had thrown a snowball at me when he saw, but I won the fight that ensued so I got to keep it. I'd been quite pleased with it myself.

Inside, our house smiled like pine and vanilla. The tree stood in the corner, finally the right height to fit under the ceiling. Heero and I had decorated it that afternoon. Which had been fun, though I knew I'd be vacuuming up pine needles until we got rid of the thing.

We even had two stockings. A green one for Heero and a burgundy one for me. They'd been gifts from Sally Po; she'd made all the guys a stocking this year. Though I noticed Wufei's was the only one that had a little grumpy looking elf stitched on the front.

Last year we'd still been at my shitty little apartment and hadn't done anything more than exchange a few gifts. It's not that I don't like Christmas. It's just that, well . . . I don't like Christmas. For me, the holiday had always been about what other people had and I had not. It was a season to emphasize Us and Them.

I was a Them now and the idea didn't settle to well.

But it really wasn't fair to take my aggravation out on Heero. Christmas hadn't existed for him other than something read about in a book, until after the wars. Now he was taking to the season like a little kid who's been given a free pass at an amusement park. I supposed the least I could do was to try and restrain the sarcasm.

I stripped and pulled on the bathrobe he'd given me last year as a gift. It was large and warm and a nice shade of dark blue. I didn't wear it that often, I was never quite sure what to do in a bathrobe, but tonight it would suit its purpose well.

I walked into the living and looked down at Heero, still sitting on the couch. He looked up and I undid the tie on the robe, opening it wide and grinning.

He stared at me and then shook his head but grinned back. "I'd wondered what happened to the mistletoe . . . "

I nodded and swivelled my hips, making the leaves swing. "Tradition says you have to kiss me."

He snickered. "Something tells me you want more than a kiss."

"Well I thought about, 'Ride me Santa' but that seemed kind of tasteless."

He threw back his head and laughed, plucking the mistletoe off to toss over his shoulder. "It could have been worse."

I unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down, giving his own Christmas package a fond pat. "How so?"

He squirmed and the pants came off to join the mistletoe on the floor. "You could have said, 'Want some eggnog?'"


	18. Red and White

Warning: Wufei-centric. Angsty and rather macabre. I think it has a nice ending though. I hope.

_December 18th_

**Red and White**

It was Christmas Eve and I'd just killed a man. Some days it really doesn't pay to get out of bed. Though I suppose, I shouldn't be complaining. I'm not the guy lying in a pool of blood on the ground, snow already starting to cover my clothes.

Crimson red and white . . . talk about spoiling your Christmas cheer.

Sally staggered over to lean against me. He'd managed to shoot her in the arm before I took him down. I hadn't meant to kill him, he'd fallen from the fire escape he was climbing.

"You okay?" I turned to look at her; she was a little pale but seemed fine otherwise. She nodded in confirmation and we called in the incident.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year . . . _

I wondered if the guy had been married. His fingers were bare of any rings. I hoped he didn't have any kids. Having your old man die on Christmas . . . I was supposed to be making the world a better place, but it sure didn't feel like it tonight.

I knew he'd been a crook. He was an arms dealer and drug smuggler. He'd killed countless people if not directly then certainly indirectly. He deserved to be punished, but he hadn't deserved to die. And on Christmas Eve for Christ's sake.

Screw some poor kids' trauma, what about mine? I have to live with this stuff every day. Good morning Chang, Merry Christmas. No presents for you this year old boy, only coal. That's what you get for killing people.

But Sally was alive. She was standing there looking at the guy, marking off the area and occasionally swearing at herself for getting shot. She wasn't the one lying dead and growing cold on the ground.

You just keep telling yourself that Chang. If it makes you sleep better at night.

The regulars arrived. Commander showed up and sent Sally off to get sorted out. I was told to go back to the office and file a report. Not later, not tomorrow, _now_. Then she looked at me, her expression a little softer and told me to stand down.

I realize I'm still clutching my gun and I'm wired tighter than a spring.

Stand down she says.

"Fine." Then I walk away, ignoring the drops of red in the snow that Sally left in a trail. Ignoring the chatter of the team in the background. Ignoring sirens and telling myself that I'm shaking because it's snowing and cold and not because I almost lost my partner and had to shoot a man. Who ended up dying.

_All that red and white._

Back at headquarters everything was quiet. Only a few people on staff, but then it was Christmas Eve. My day off was due tomorrow. I was supposed to spend the day hanging with the guys. Yuy was going to prove to everyone he could cook a turkey and Barton had promised not to bring any food Cathy had prepared. We'd played baseball in the snow with her rolls last year.

I wanted the evening to be over. I wanted it to have never happened. I didn't want to see the Christmas decorations and think about blood in the snow and the sound of that man screaming as he fell.

My report was thorough. I knew I wasn't at fault. An officer had been shot. I'd fired my gun, hitting the assailant in the shoulder and thigh. My shots had not killed him; it was the fall.

I couldn't let him get away though, could I? He'd shot Sally. He was to be arrested. He'd killed people himself.

He had a kid.

I found his stats in the network when I was completing my report. Divorced, he didn't see the kid, a dead beat dad who never paid his child support. The wife probably wouldn't care that he'd died; the kid was eight. A little boy. Would he grow up to be like his old man? Would he grow up to hate cops?

Would he grow up to hate me?

I shut down my computer, picking up the folder with the report. Inside I tucked a note requesting that the ex-wife not be told when the perp had died. It was the best I could do. It was late but the Commander would want this on her desk. I doubt she'd be taking the day off tomorrow.

Agents getting shot creates paperwork. Killing people creates even more.

There wasn't anyone in the parking garage, I hit the switch on my keys and listened to the beep, and thought it was the loneliest sound in the world. My car was cold. My house would be cold as well.

I checked my phone before I pulled out and was surprised to see there was a message. Barton had called. He wanted me to stop by Yuy's on my way home. I was relieved. I didn't want to go home just yet. I liked going to Yuy's. His place was small but it was warm and bright and filled with laughter. Maxwell was always there, draped over furniture or people, tossing in a sarcastic comment but smiling to soften the blow.

When I pulled up, I sat in the drive with my lights off. I was still shaking even though my car had warmed up on the drive over. The snow was falling heavily and I could only hear the sound of my breathing. Suddenly I didn't think coming had been a good idea. I felt like I was covered in blood and checked my hands. Rattled I tried to put the key back in the ignition but I missed and they slipped and fell under the seat.

My door was opened suddenly and I gasped, staring at Maxwell's face in surprise. My mouth opened and I heard someone blurt out, "I killed him."

Then I realized it was me.

"I should go."

He was shaking his head though and then my seat belt was undone and I was yanked from the car and out into the night. Yuy was standing in the open doorway, light shining behind him so I couldn't make out his expression. Hands pulled me inside, took my coat and wrapped a blanket around me.

Outside it continued to snow. People went about their business. Somewhere, somebody was laughing or maybe crying. Somewhere, somebody died. Somewhere, somebody was born.

Tonight I killed a man, but tonight I also saved a life.

They told me this. And gave me back my Christmas.


	19. To Be Real

Warning/Pairing: Some language. Heero and Duo. Angst. My apologies, Heero's kind of an emo but it's late and I'm tired and I don't have time to make it better.

_December 19th_

**To Be Real...**

Some days I feel a little . . . worn.

There's a story called The Velveteen Rabbit. It's about a stuffed rabbit who is forgotten. When he is found once again he is much loved; loved into shabbiness as his spots are rubbed off and he grows threadbare. But then one day it is decided that the velveteen rabbit is no longer suitable and he's thrown out with the trash to be burned. Fortunately for him, a kind fairy comes by and turns him into a real rabbit.

The first time I read that story; I had to leave the bookstore. It's not normal for seventeen-year-old boys to be seen crying in the children's book section.

I felt a strange kinship with the little rabbit in the story. I too was forgotten and found. I too am used and used till the point where my seams are starting to show and I feel rather ragged. I have to wonder how much longer I will go on until I'm no longer useful. Will I too, be tossed out with the trash?

Ironically the story begins on Christmas morning. Christmas is like an anniversary of sorts for me. A day that means nothing and yet means everything. Today is Christmas, though it's nothing like the one in the story. There are no presents and laughter, no relatives and friends. No stocking. No tree. There isn't even any snow this year.

I'm on medical leave. Or as the doctor put it, "You may be the closest living thing to Superman there is, but even you can't immediately bounce back from two bullets in the leg and a cracked skull."

Actually I probably could have. Bounced back, that is. I didn't need the two weeks off, but I'd taken it without a word. I was tired.

Unfortunately, fast recovery means I have plenty of time to sit in my empty apartment thinking and staring at the dead leaves as they tumble past my window.

I'm lonely.

At least the rabbit had another forgotten toy to talk to when he was tossed aside in the cupboard.

Nobody talks to me at work. Nobody wants to be my partner. When they first come in, they laugh and mock, seeing a kid in a Preventer uniform and making jokes about playing grownup. But then the jokes stop and they trade their smirks for darting eyes and whispers in the hall.

_See that kid? That's Heero Yuy. Don't mess with him, he's not real he's just a machine._

The velveteen rabbit wondered if he was real too. He thought he was and he was happy. But then he learned he was nothing more than a stuffed toy.

I am real. I bleed. I cry. I laugh if the joke is funny. I want people to look at me and not be afraid.

Where is my fairy?

Hell, it doesn't even have to be a fairy. I'd take a damn partner who doesn't stand back and tell me "It's all yours soldier boy." Then watch me get shot at, run over, beat up. Watch me be the one to dismantle the bomb, talk down the roof jumper, take out the sniper and chase down the get away car.

I want somebody who'll catch me when I fall. Not just call the ambulance when it looks like I'm not getting up right away.

I'm startled to see the leaves have been replaced with snowflakes. They're swirling outside, dancing in the wind before settling on the ground and sticking to my window. Looks like everyone will get their white Christmas after all.

I wonder if I count as part of that everyone but I'm interrupted from my thoughts by a loud banging on the door. Puzzled I walk over and open it, staring at a snow-covered Duo who is standing on the step outside.

"Merry Christmas Heero!" He pushes past me and shakes the snow off his head. I scowl and step back to avoid getting wet.

"What are you doing here?"

He squints and looks me up and down. "I heard you needed a partner."

The last time I saw Duo was several months ago. He'd been taking jobs from Howard; out in space more often than not. He'd send me a note when he could and I always enjoyed his messages. They were colorful. And alive.

"I always need a partner. Nothing new there."

He ignores my sarcasm and pushes me further into the living room, standing in front of me with his arms folded. "So I've discovered. You've been holding out on me. Why didn't you tell me you were out on medical?"

He scowled at me and I scowled back. "It wasn't important."

Groaning he threw his hands up in the air. "You _kill _me. Fine whatever. Have it your way and play stone man."

He gave me a filthy look and then gestured toward my clothes. "Take off your shirt and drop your pants."

I gaped at him, "What?"

"You're not a fucking machine, Yuy. I want to make sure you're okay."

Impatiently he reached forward and started unbuttoning my shirt. I batted his hands away and then sighed, doing as he said. Sometimes it was easier to just go along with Duo, steel is more malleable when he gets in a mood.

His hands were gentle though, as he ran his fingers over my stitches, making disgusted noises when he found the second bullet wound.

"You haven't been putting lotion on these older ones."

I examine the ones he points to and then stare at the wall behind his head. "I didn't really see the point."

He looks up sharply and narrows his eyes. "Care to explain that comment?"

I look away, feeling naked in a way that has nothing to do with my lack of clothing. Calloused fingers grasp my chin and turn my head back to face him. "Talk to me, Heero."

I shrug but he doesn't let go, just slides his hand down to rest on my shoulder.

"You're going to think I'm an ass." I tell him finally.

He laughs and squeezes my shoulder gently before fetching the lotion from beside the couch and rubbing it on my older wounds. "No worries there my friend, I think you're an ass already."

I snort but his hands feel good and soon I'm lulled into a calm that makes it easier to speak. "Do you know the story of the velveteen rabbit?"

His head is tipped down so I can't see his eyes but his fingers slow their motion. "Yeah, I know that one."

"Some days . . . I feel a lot like that rabbit. Worn. Waiting to be made real."

"And today?" He stops and looks up at me, not judging just listening and understanding.

"Today . . . just another patch job. No fairy yet."

I barely get the last words out and I feel pathetic that I'm sitting here in just my boxers, eyes filling up with tears, Duo of all people looking at me.

But then he wipes my face and wraps his arms around me. "Heero, there never will be a fairy. You want to know why?"

I shake my head, clutching the back of his shirt and think that if this is supposed to be an inspirational pep talk, it sucks.

He continues though and so I listen. "There will never be a fairy because you're already real. This skin . . . " He traces my scars with his fingers, then suddenly leans forward to kiss them.

I gasp and he looks up and smiles at me. "This skin is real. This body is real. This heart that I hear beating, much faster by the way, tells me you're real."

I stare at him wide-eyed and he laughs. "If you weren't real then I wouldn't want to kiss you. I wouldn't want to shake you when you do stupid stuff. I wouldn't be planning to go into Preventers tomorrow and beat the crap out of the last guy that partnered you."

"Don't do that." I tell him, picturing him leaving me in a swirl of snowflakes and missed kisses. He raises an eyebrow and I try to find the words I want to say. "I still have a week off. You can kick his ass next week. For now . . . "

He nods and leans in to kiss me again. "For now I'll stay. And I'll show you just how real you are."


	20. The Impossible Holiday

Warning/Pairing: Language, snarky Duo, 1x2

_December 20th_

**The Impossible Holiday**

Heero doesn't celebrate Christmas. Thank God. It's nice to go somewhere where somebody isn't rolling their eyes or giving me strange looks because I don't know the difference between a pine tree and a fir tree or have my own special collection of breakable small objects to put on display until the tree finally dies.

And what the hell is that tablecloth looking thing on the floor? Oh, that would be a tree skirt. Who knew they got their own line of apparel this season? To the uninitiated Christmas is just fucking impossible. Tree skirts and Christmas crackers. Mistletoe and nutcrackers, which don't crack nuts by the way, I thought Hilde was going to eviscerate me when I asked. Poinsettias . . . I really don't get poinsettias. They're from Mexico, how the hell did they end up as a traditional winter Christmas plant? And if you don't know the words to at least fifteen different Christmas songs then you're screwed.

I'm not a total idiot. I do know about Christmas. About having a tree and giving presents and hanging stockings. I know about Santa Claus, a.k.a. St. Nick, and how he comes down the chimney. Classic case of B & E if you ask me, but nobody seems to notice that.

I didn't know he had nine reindeer specifically, and that they all have names. _Names_. Jesus Christ. I don't think you can get much more warped than that. These people do realize none of this is real, right? Am I the only one who wonders if the majority of the population has suddenly stopped taking their medication?

People go crazy during this time of year. Hilde has a flaming temper, but it gets especially bad in December. That's about the time I pack my bag and make a silent exit in the night. I just help out around the salvage yard from time to time anyway, don't look at me when you want someone to string lights and erect your eight-foot inflatable snowman in the yard.

Most of the time I'm hopping from colony to colony. Bouncing around Sweeper ships and spreading the Maxwell charm. I don't really like to be tied down in one place. I start to get an itch and feel the need to take off again.

Once in a while I'll get a rude vid call from Wufei. That usually means he has a problem and needs me to come assist. Those are always fun. I don't think I'd like to do it on a daily basis though. Wufei is way too uptight. I think it comes from buttoning his shirt collar all the way up. Though I must admit that the Preventer uniform does look good on him. He was made to be a policeman. He's got that honor thing going and dignity. Wufei _oozes_ dignity.

If I were to say I had a home though, it would definitely be with Heero. Wufei's a nice guy, if a bit stiff, but Heero is . . . well he's the guy I never have to explain myself to.

Last year I didn't know anything was going down until Hilde showed up with boxes of decorations and a scary look in her eye. Then she jumped me, started taking measurements and muttering comments about Santa suits and asked if I could grow a beard. _Grow a beard? _When she whipped out the hot glue gun, I high tailed it out of there faster than you can say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Which is how I found myself standing on Heero's doorstep, traumatized and smelling funny. He'd taken a whiff and asked if I was hitting the floor cleaner. No, just Hilde and her pine scented candles. To get in the Christmas spirit she said.

Heero does the part-time Preventer thing as well. He doesn't like to do field work, afraid that someday he'll have to draw on someone and shoot, but he's happy to do security work for them when they need it. He's usually around when I show up and I've tagged along a couple times when he's gone off on a job.

Trowa says he doesn't understand why Heero puts up with me, but T-bone's an ass like that and Heero usually just looks at him blankly. Actually Heero gets along fine with Trowa. It's just me who has issues with the guy. I have no idea why, unless it's because he knows I shagged his boy once during the war. Very possessive, our Trowa.

Honestly, it was just a one time thing. Seeking comfort and a little release. He doesn't have to worry about me trying to jump Quatre's bones now. I dig monogamy. And Quatre's got Trowa wrapped all around his finger; I wouldn't go near that with a ten-foot pole and flack vest.

I like things just the way they are. And when the shit hits the fan, I know where I can go.

Some old lady in the grocery store today asked me if I was helping my mom make Christmas dinner. Then a minister on the street tried to recruit me to sing carols. I was informed that 'not knowing the words' was the most pathetic and uncharitable excuse I could make and if I didn't want to spread the Christmas joy then I should just turn down the offer and not lie. Damn near left me speechless. The icing on the cake though was the email from Hilde asking if I was coming over for the holidays.

_Fucking hell._

Heero opened his door practically before I started banging on it. I must have looked pretty bad, eyes wild, hair half coming out of its braid, babbling about carols and turkey and beards.

He shut the door and I slid to the floor back braced against it with my head in my hands.

"I'm not broken." I felt the need to tell him for some reason.

He nodded and sat down next to me, as if he'd help hold the world at bay.

"It's not my fault I only know the dirty version of Jingle Bells." He nodded again and I relaxed, tipping my head to rest it on his shoulder.

"Do you know what an advent calender is?" His shoulder was hard so I flopped forward and rested my head in his lap looking up at him.

He pursed his lips in thought and then shook his head. "A special calender?"

I grimaced, "Well see I thought I got a handle on the whole twelve days of Christmas thing last year."

He dropped his hand to run it through my hair and I sighed, scooting closer. "Turns out that the twelve days aren't so important and they've got this calender to count off all twenty-five days before Christmas. They even put little chocolates inside. You get one for every day."

I thought about that for second and then scowled, "At least I think so. I found one in the store and it didn't have chocolate in it so I'm not sure that's a rule."

He smirked and tugged my ear gently. "You're just pissed because you can't keep up."

I tried to sit up but he was still holding on to me, a satisfied look on his face, so I settled for waving my hand in the air. "Who the hell can keep up when they keep changing their freaking mind! Twelve days, twenty-five days . . . chocolates, no chocolates . . . "

I stopped grumbling when he leaned forward and kissed me. It's hard to work up a good rant when you've got a hot tongue in your mouth and fingers inching down your waistband.

Who needs Christmas, anyway? Heero and I do just fine without it.


	21. Memories in the Snow

Warning/Pairing: Language, 3x4, 1x2, friendship

_December 21st_

**Memories in the Snow**

The road was covered in snow and it was so cold his scarf was developing ice crystals from where he breathed on it. Trowa hunched his shoulders and swore under his breath.

Two o' clock in the morning found him on an unplowed deserted road on Christmas Eve. And he was walking. Because the car he'd been driving, fortunately issued by Preventers and not his own, was a crumpled non-functioning wreck about two miles back.

That's what happens when you hit a deer, spin out of control and crash into a tree. He thought there might have been a fence as well but he wasn't sure.

He wasn't that injured. He'd taken worse hits from inside his cockpit, but he had a cut on his forehead that had bled for a while before all the blood froze.

And the car was totaled. Commander Une was going to have a fit.

Actually Quatre was probably having a fit right this moment. When Trowa had called all he'd managed was, "I had an accident, the car is trashed . . . " and then the battery in the phone died.

It was freezing. He had a scarf and gloves but only his Preventer jacket to wear, which wasn't exactly a winter parka. For a while he tried singing Christmas carols as he walked. But he only knew the words to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Jingle Bells. Both which got old very quickly. And it hurt to breathe in the cold air too much so he stopped.

Heero would be worried as well. Somehow when the Mariemeia uprising had ended and everything had settled down; Trowa had found himself working for Preventers. And somehow he'd ended up being partners with Heero.

Yuy wasn't a difficult guy to partner as long as you were competent and could keep up. Which meant that the only options for him were the other pilots. Duo couldn't partner Heero because they lived together. Or as Duo so colorfully put it, "Heero and I can't be partners, Une's afraid we'll spend all our time shagging in the closet or something."

So Trowa was Heero's partner and Duo worked with Wufei. The arrangement had worked out quite well.

Heero wasn't here because he'd been sent off to run last-minute security checks for a Christmas function. Trowa had been sent to scout the route for potential danger spots along the way. Unfortunately a twenty-mile section of it ran through a totally barren area of land that wasn't trafficked by anything.

Except deer.

Fuck it was freezing. He'd heard that positive thinking helped and so he tried to imagine as many warm things as he could. Hot chocolate, large fires, thick down parkas, Quatre naked in bed. He liked that one and stayed with it until he felt himself growing hard. Under his scarf his mouth quirked into a grin. Well good to know the blood was still flowing in _some _places.

His ears hurt. He held his gloved hands over them and continued walking, stomping his feet every so often to try and keep the snow off his pants as much as possible.

The last vacation he took. He'd gone to Tahiti with Quatre last winter. He remembered the sand burning under his feet and the way Quatre turned a rich caramel in the sun, his hair bleaching an even lighter color.

He remembered the tan line when he pulled Quatre's swim trunks down. Golden brown and then milky white. And the smoothness of his butt in Trowa's hand.

The wind was picking up and he dropped his hands to shove them in his pockets giving his wrists a chance to warm up a little. He wondered how many miles he'd have to walk before he found a house and glanced around. Nothing but snow, fields and sparse groves of trees.

Hot tubs were warm. Patches of sunlight on the bed. Duo's famous five alarm chili. Last summer they'd all gathered at Wufei's house and had a barbecue. Duo and Heero got into a water fight with the garden hose. The kitchen window had been open though and they'd accidently soaked Quatre. Trowa grinned and pulled his scarf higher. Quatre'd been so mad he'd chased them all the way around the house until Heero fell in the pool and had to be fished out.

He wondered if he should be worried that he couldn't feel his feet anymore. First his toes had gone numb and then his feet. His ears weren't bothering him anymore either. In fact they felt quite warm.

He didn't want to die out here in the middle of nowhere.

He wanted to see Quatre again. He wanted to run his hands over Quatre's body, especially the hip bones because that was Trowa's favorite spot.

He couldn't die. He was supposed to help Wufei build a deck this summer. And he hadn't mailed Catherine her Christmas present yet.

He was incredibly tired though. It was late, and he'd been driving all day trying to get home at a reasonable hour. It'd be nice to just sit down for a moment and rest. The snow looked very soft and it was piled in big drifts next to the road.

He could be like the Eskimos; they lived in snow houses.

He was admiring the lights in the windows when he realized, he was actually looking at the stars and that he was lying on his back. He continued to lay there, enjoying the feeling of not moving and stared at the sky. Just a few minutes. He'd just stay here a few minutes.

It wasn't as warm as he'd hoped but he couldn't feel most of his body anymore so that was ok.

The stars eventually blurred and then there was a bright light coming toward him and he wondered if it was the tunnel of light people talked about. He hoped not, how cliched would that be?

"Trowa Barton! You scared the shit out of me!" He blinked and tried to focus. Oddly enough that sounded like Heero.

Hands grabbed him and hauled him up, roughly dusting snow off him and shoving him into a car. It was warm and his ears felt like they were on fire. He winced and touched them gingerly with his fingers.

"We've been worried sick. You could have died out there, asshole." That was Duo. His eyes were wide and Trowa realized he'd never seen Duo look so frightened before.

"Trowa? You need to take off your jacket. It's too wet to keep on." Wufei was talking to him now.

Trowa idly wondered how they all fit in a car. Hands reached out again and started to strip him and he watched with mild interest. One of the hands was wearing a ring that looked an awful lot like the ring Quatre wore. Following the direction of the hand to the arm he looked up and found Quatre glaring at him, mouth drawn into a thin line.

He was in trouble.

"You are a complete idiot. What were you thinking trying to walk in this weather?"

Trowa's fingers hurt. A lot. He held them up to show Quatre. He tried to apologize but his teeth were chattering so badly the words weren't very coherent.

Quatre continued to glare but handed him a sweatshirt to put on.

Eventually he became more aware of his surroundings. He was in the back seat of Heero's SUV, sandwiched between Quatre and Wufei. Duo was up front in the passenger seat and Heero was driving.

Trowa looked over at Quatre and tried again. "I'm sorry. Knew you'd be worried."

Quatre shook his head in disgust but then sighed. "Idiot."

On his other side, Wufei snorted and handed him a pair of socks to put on. "Good thing we knew what direction you'd gone in."

From up front Heero turned his head quickly to survey Trowa and then smirked. "By the way, Une says the damages are coming out of your Christmas bonus."

Trowa sat surrounded by his friends and thought about his list of warm things. He'd forgotten a few. Heero's smile, Wufei's rough affection, Duo's concern and Quatre's love. In a way they were better than all the hot tubs in the world.

Though he still liked Quatre's hip bones best.

Suddenly he started to laugh and pulled Quatre down to kiss him. Then he looked up at his friends and smiled. "Thank you. For coming."


	22. Angel Wings

Warning/Pairing: Duo and Heero, smidgeon of angst, fluff

Author note: I'm posting this earlier than usual because I'm leaving to go out of town in an hour. I don't know if I'll be able to upload stories for the 23-25th onto ffn. (I'll be at a friends and his computer doesn't have a writing program apparently). You can still read them though because I'll be able to load them directly into my live journal account. You can access it from my bio section under webpage.

_December 22nd_

**Angel Wings**

The ornament wasn't very big. He didn't even know if Heero had a tree. Actually he hadn't seen Heero in a year and wasn't exactly sure where he was, just the general area of a small town.

It'd taken a long time to learn that much.

The ornament was light, delicate silver woven together to make a pair of wings. He'd seen it in the shop window and immediately thought of Heero.

So he'd bought it. And then realized rather stupidly that it might seem odd to track Heero down, turn up out of the blue and hand him a Christmas ornament. Did the guy even do anything for Christmas?

At least he wasn't with Relena. Duo was honest enough with himself to admit that the idea of Heero off cuddling up with Relena made him want to throw things. Break things. Kick small puppies.

Which was totally ridiculous because he'd hardly spoken with Heero, let alone told him he had a huge man crush on the guy.

Well more than a man crush. Duo didn't think about Heero constantly but when he did it made his chest ache. He often talked to him, or at least talked to a Heero that he pretended was there to listen. Just letting him know about his day, the things he'd seen, if something was bothering him.

Duo hoped that wherever Heero was, he was happy. And not alone. Just not with Relena, of course. Duo was alone and it was . . . _lonely_.

The ornament sat in a small black box, tied with a red ribbon. The shopkeeper had been an elderly woman with white fluffy hair and a kind smile. She'd thought he was buying it for his girlfriend. He'd explained it was for his best friend whom he hadn't seen in a very long time.

She'd told him she hoped he found his friend soon. "You look too sad for this time of year." Then she'd given him a sugar cookie, tied his muffler more securely around his neck and sent him out.

Old people were weird.

So now he was hovering in the public library, waiting for the librarian to bring him a copy of the town's phone directory. He didn't really expect Heero to be listed but it wouldn't hurt to check.

He wondered what Heero was doing in a place like this anyway. He'd figured Heero would take off for the colonies but he'd end up back on Earth. In a small town in the northern hemisphere that got a lot of snow.

It'd been snowing all day. Duo had walked through it, occasionally pausing to scoop up a handful and lick it. He hadn't expected it to be so fluffy. And tasteless. He wasn't sure what he'd expected.

There was a large tree in the town square across from the library. It was decorated with lights and red bows and children ran around it chucking snowballs at each other. Duo clutched the small box tighter and wondered not for the first time, what the hell he was doing here.

He could be on an island somewhere lying on a beach. Or on Howard's ship tinkering with equipment. The sweepers would be passing the rum around by now, belting out obscene Christmas songs and getting toasted. If he were on a beach he could be working on his tan and not here, figuring out how to pull his hat further down over his ears.

But on a beach he'd be alone. And on the sweeper ship he'd feel alone. And at least here he was moving and doing something. Even if it was a bust and Heero was busy or had company, he could at least just leave the gift on his doorstep.

There weren't any Yuys listed in the phone book. He hadn't really expected to find any. He shut it and closed his eyes in defeat. Absently rubbing the ache in his chest he slumped back in the chair discouraged.

There was a thud as someone dropped a stack of books and a muffled cry by the librarian. He opened his eyes when he felt somebody standing in front of him and looked up.

Blue eyes stared at him in shock, the librarian practically tugging on the man's arm and asking him if he was ok.

Duo stared back, the ache suddenly gone and held the box up to the figure in front of him. "I was looking for you. I wanted to give you a present . . . "

He trailed off when Heero continued to just stare at him and he fumbled the box a little before setting it down to rest in his lap. "I just saw it and thought of you. It's ok if you don't celebrate Christmas."

Suddenly Heero was on his knees in front of him pulling off his hat and tugging on his muffler. Duo let him, confused but kept still. Finally Heero stopped pulling layers of winter clothes off and silent reached out to touch the edges of Duo's hair.

Oh.

"You cut it." When Heero finally spoke it was the same raspy voice Duo had heard answer him in his imagination every day.

"Yes." Duo reached out to touch the ends of Heero's own hair. Still the same chocolate brown that refused to lay properly.

"Why?"

The librarian must have decided they were ok, even though Heero was still on his knees in front of Duo. She'd wandered away, gathering books up off the floor. Duo watched her disappear and then looked at Heero wondering how to explain something he wasn't sure of himself.

"It was time to move on. Time to . . . look forward."

"Do you regret it?" Fingers gently touched the ends, smoothing them and brushing a loose strand out of Duo's eyes.

"Sometimes." He swallowed, "Looking forward is hard to do when you're always alone."

Heero finally noticed the box and picked it up. "This is for me?"

Duo nodded. Heero carefully untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. The silver wings rested in tissue paper, glowing in the light.

Heero lifted them out of the box and watched them spin slowly in the air. He was silent for a long time and then put them back and closed the lid.

Duo was beginning to wonder if he'd done something wrong, when Heero suddenly stood, pulling Duo into a tight hug. "Thank you." He whispered in his ear.

Duo hugged him back. "I've been looking for you."

Heero let go and touched Duo's hair again, smiling softly. "Here I am."

...O...

The letter was waiting for her when she opened her shop that morning. Inside was just a photograph. She recognized the young man, he'd come into her shop alone, a face so lonely and sad, wanting to buy a gift for his friend. This time though he wasn't alone; he was standing next to another young man, arm slung over his shoulder. And he had the most beautiful smile on his face.

There was a simple note on the back.

"_Thank you."_


	23. The Indignity of Death

Warning: Language, Quatre-centric, macabre, friendship

_December 23rd_

**The Indignity of Death**

Lying in the snow, trapped under a pile of scaffolding wasn't exactly how I had planned to spend Christmas. Caught under me, the doorman was already growing stiff. I was pretty sure he hadn't planned to spend Christmas dead, either. Funny how the world works.

I should have stayed home. The head of Winner Corporation should technically be able to take at least Christmas day off but when he doesn't really have anywhere else to be, it'd seemed logical to come in and get some work done.

Normally I just called and ordered a sandwich delivered from the deli, continuing to work at my desk. But today was Christmas and the deli was closed. The only reason a doorman was stationed was because a large Christmas party was being held on the second floor of the building.

It wouldn't do to have guests hold their own door open. Poor bastard, probably thought he could collect a little extra cash working time and a half . . . now the only thing he was collecting was snow in his hair.

I scooted forward as much as I could and brushed off the snow that had blown on his head. It didn't seem right to just let him get covered like that. But the snow concealed the bashed in section of his face and I grimaced, thinking it might be more dignified to actually let the snow bury him.

A board chose that moment to fall, narrowly missing my head and I scooted back again. I rather wished the doorman had ended up on top, at least he'd be some protection against the falling debris.

Of course, then I'd probably be the guy lying dead in the snow.

It was cold. The guests inside would surely come investigate the loud crash. Or somebody running late would try to get in and find their way blocked by a pile of boards and metal poles.

Company presidents can't just go missing. Surely someone would come soon.

Who was I kidding? Nobody would notice I was gone. My life was measured in meetings and signed documents. My share holders only contacted me by phone, my secretary was in Bermuda for two weeks.

The other pilots . . . I assumed they were all busy with their own holiday plans. Plans that might have included me if I'd been around to include. It was a sad reflection on my life that I didn't even know what the other guys were doing this holiday. Probably working like me. We all tended to be rather focused.

I was fucked. I was going to die out here in the cold with a ruptured something; my only companion a doorman I never spoke a word to. And it was Christmas.

Wherever he was, my father was probably laughing himself sick about now. Old man never had want me to run the family company. Said I was betraying him and the Winner name. Blamed my boodthirtsy behavior on the Maqunacs.

I could really use the Maqunacs about now.

Snow blew in and this time I let it cover the doorman. His jacket was wool and I rested my head on his back, feeling the boards pressing me down. Nobody was coming.

It felt like I'd been trapped there for hours. I couldn't get my arm up to check my watch but the sun must have dropped closer to the horizon because it gradually became darker under my pile of boards and I shivered.

My stomach growled. Guess that meant I missed lunch.

Time is all relative anyway. One minute you're alive and the next minute you're dead.

Sometimes you can do it backwards. Heero was dead and then he was alive. I never did figure that one out. I was going to have to ask him about that some time. Preferably before I died. I think you had to know the trick first or it didn't work.

More time, more snow. Finally there were sirens, I could hear them coming closer. Car doors slamming, running feet, voices shouting. Somewhere in the distance I thought I could hear a helicopter.

A voice called out, requesting a winch and I realized nobody knew there were people trapped under all the rubble. Well, people being a collective word. One alive, if overworked company president and one dead doorman.

Dead as a doorman. Good one, Winner.

I snickered and then winced when it caused my ribs to shift, a stabbing pain shooting through my side. That couldn't be good.

I saw a shadow slip past the gaps in the debris. "Hey! Over here! Hey! Get me the hell out of here!"

There was an answering shout and then a dark blur covered some gaps and a voice called out, "Shit, there's someone in there!"  
Thanks mate. Merry Christmas to you too.

Then the blur disappeared, guess he was too busy to stop for a chat.

Another board fell, bringing a metal pole with it. I scrunched myself up as well as I could but it still hit me across the legs.

Fuck.

As Duo would so colorfully put it, this sucked. I did not survive two wars just to die under a pile of poorly constructed scaffolding. I'd be the laughing stock of dead people everywhere. I imagined my ancestors meeting me at the gates of death, swords covered in blood, slain in battle. My father was the dusty one. That's what happens when you get blown up.

I snickered again and then stopped, groaning in pain instead. Blood dripped into my eyes. I blacked out for a bit.

When I opened my eyes again, it was darker and I could hear more shouting, much closer this time. It sounded like people were arguing and then there was a creaking as boards shifted and poles were raised. Arms reached through the gap and grasped my shoulders.

A strong tug and I was dragged out, boards and metal collapsing again behind me. Good thing the other guy was already dead.

I wondered idly what his name had been.

Somebody stood me up, dusting me off and wrapping an arm around my waist to hold me up. I could see Wufei arguing with a man in a police uniform, spreading his arms out and not letting the guy get past. The person holding me up was Duo and I realized Heero and Trowa had been the ones to lift the rubble so Duo could pull me out.

Wufei ran over and held up my other side, walking me towards a car. In the background the policeman stood with his mouth hanging open in shock. I knew better than to laugh this time. Instead I tipped my head back to stare at the sky; it was a rich purple color and I found the first star of the night.

I grinned. "What took you guys so long, anyway?"

I know what separates the dead from the living. It's the people who come even when we can't call out to them.


	24. Carols for the Lost

Warning: Sally Po-centric, angst, hope, friendship

_December 24th_

**Carols for the Lost**

When she was a child there had been carolers at Christmas. Her father would bundle her up in a snowsuit and mittens and take her to watch the singers gather outside. Then lighting candles, they would walk from house to house caroling.

Sometimes people would give the carolers drinks, hot chocolate or a small flask would be passed around.

A drink for grownups her father had told her.

Now she sat at her desk on Christmas Eve and remembered those nights. Her father had died when she was fifteen, shot down by an Oz soldier. Nobody seemed to have Christmas cheer anymore, Sally hadn't heard a caroler in years and the idea of people knocking on doors was ridiculous.

The only thing remaining was the drink for grownups. She poured a little of the whiskey from her flask into the coffee cup on her desk and raised a toast.

Here's to you dad.

On her desk were piles of papers, files and pencils scattered about. She was working on tracking down a child slave ring. The missing children folders lay open accusingly in front of her. None of these children would be spending Christmas with their families. Some of these children didn't even have families. No one to care for the lost and forgotten.

_I would sing you a Christmas song._

She flipped through the folders, taking notes and sipping her spiked coffee. At home her cat would be pacing the floor. Nobody else was waiting for her. She always missed her father during this time of the year. He'd loved the decorations and snow, driving her mom crazy by playing Christmas music in the house and car non-stop for the entire month of December.

After her father had died her mother had stopped doing anything at Christmas. A few years after his death, she had become sick and passed away as well.

Sally would hate the holiday if she didn't feel it would somehow disappoint the memory of her dad.

She rubbed her eyes, tired and moved to another file in the stack. There had to be a link between these children. It was there, she just wasn't seeing it. More than anything she wanted to bring these children home safely, even if they didn't make in time for the holidays.

Outside it was snowing. Her watch beeped the hour and she glanced down, surprised it was already ten o' clock. The Commander had looked in before she left, telling Sally to go home. That there wasn't anything Sally could do about the case till after the holidays. That she was doing the best she could. That she needed to take a rest because working herself into the ground wasn't going to get the children found any sooner.

Sally knew that. But the children did not. The children who wouldn't have stockings or presents, hot chocolate or dreams of Santa Claus.

_If I knew where you were, I'd bring you home._

She blinked away frustrated tears. She was tired that was all. It was the holidays. Nobody gave a damn about anyone anymore.

When the words on the page blurred and teardrops smudged some of the ink, she gave up and dropped her head into her hands. What had happened to the world since she was a little girl? Where had the carolers gone? Where had the spirit her father loved so much disappeared to?

She was glad her father wasn't there to see her. This Christmas, her failure . . . it would have broken his heart.

Straightening, she picked up the next folder. She couldn't give up. This was her job, this was her duty. If she didn't continue there wouldn't be anyone to bring these children home. She nodded to herself firmly and went back to work.

Several hours later she stopped writing, puzzled. Her office door was closed but she thought she heard singing for some reason. She looked up, eyes unfocused as she tried to hear the faint sound. It was definitely singing, and it was getting closer.

Standing up, she pushed her chair back and walked to the front of her desk, staring at the closed door. Muffled footsteps approached from the other side and then there was a loud knock. She looked around the office but the walls didn't offer any information so she strode over and pulled open the door.

Wufei was standing there with a ridiculous Santa hat on. Heero was leaned against him, a scarf knitted in green, red and white, wrapped around his neck. Arms draped over their shoulders, was Duo, also wearing a thick scarf. Behind him stood Quatre and Trowa both dressed in Santa hats as well.

While she stared at them wide-eyed, they grinned and began to sing.

Listening to a slightly off-key rendition of "Here We Come A-Wassailing", she slumped against the frame and laughed and cried. Wufei handed her a tissue and Duo passed over a candy cane. She blew her nose, stuck the candy cane in her mouth and watched as they marched into her office still singing.

Outside, the snow continued to fall and the temperature dropped. Inside, the windows fogged up as the young men and Sally passed the small flask around, laughter filling the office. Folders were no longer piled on the desk but spread out on the floor. 

Quatre stood in front of a whiteboard drawing arrows connecting names with places and occasionally wiping one off. Heero typed away at her computer, calling out locations. Duo was on the phone, talking to some of his street contacts while Trowa and Wufei crouched on the floor, organizing the folders by area and cross-checking time frames.

She wouldn't get the children home in time for Christmas. But they would be home for New Years. Wufei and the others had promised. And Sally had faith in them, because they were the boys that saved the world twice.

Sally didn't believe in Santa Claus anymore, but she believed in them. And that belief gave her the strength to make a promise of her own.

When the children were found, there wouldn't be sirens and spinning lights. There wouldn't be television crews or pointing fingers. There would be snow and warm red blankets. There would be hot chocolate and carols.

She looked around the room and smiled. She already had her volunteers.


	25. Live for Tomorrow

Warning: Heero-centric, angst, friendship

Author note: Thank you to everyone who has followed these stories throughout the month of December. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

_December 25th_

**Live for Tomorrow**

When I woke up that morning, I'd thought my biggest problem was that I had to work on Christmas. Not that it was really a problem; but it would have been nice to _pretend_ I was normal.

I coughed, down on my hands and knees in the snow and gingerly touched my face.

Fuck.

When I woke up that morning I'd also had two eyebrows.

Looking up, I continued to cough, watching the two-story house in front of me burn. Inside the Christmas lights around the tree popped and exploded in a shower of sparks and the tree went up in a ball of flame.

I swore and dropped to my stomach, face buried in the snow and tried to avoid the wave of heat and sparks that came rushing out through the broken window.

A few feet a way, lying in the snow and ash was a dog. He was just lying there, whining a little but at least he was alive. I'd gone inside to find that damn dog so he'd better be alive.

It wasn't even my dog. And it certainly wasn't my house. I'd been positioned there for the week; monitoring the taps we'd placed on the phones and in the rooms. The guy that owned the place was under Preventer surveillance, believed to have close contacts with a major drug smuggler we'd been trying to bring in.

The family had gone out that evening to see a ballet. The Nutcracker, which was apparently a family tradition according to a conversation recorded between the wife and a friend on the phone. Which was why I'd known the dog was the only living thing in the house when a black car had driven by, tossing what looked like a Molotov Cocktail through the window.

I hate dogs. They say that time heals all wounds, well I wish it'd hurry up and close mine. Maybe that's why I didn't even think twice about crashing into the burning house and searching all over the place before dragging the damn thing out from under a bed and out into the snow.  
If that puppy had grown up, he might have looked a lot like this one. I scowled and crawled over to the thing. It'd stopped making noises and I nudged it.

"Hey. Dog." My voice was raspy and I could barely speak. It didn't move or respond and I shoved it again, willing it to open its eyes and look at me.

"Don't you dare die you flea bitten bastard!"

I choked, coughs racking my body and it felt like my throat was being stripped with a vegetable peeler. Eyes watering, I scooped up a handful of not very clean snow and melted it in my mouth before swallowing it.

Shit, that hurt.

Smoke inhalation, scorched throat, possible second degree burns. You won't win any beauty pageants, Yuy.

Ignoring the pain and running commentary, I took another handful and melted it. Going back to the dog, I lifted its head and opened its mouth as wide as I could, spitting the snow in. I quickly closed it before the water could drip out.

The dog didn't respond and I shook it once more before collapsing onto my back in the snow.

Just fucking great.

What the hell was I doing here? I could be anywhere else; a nameless face in a sea of people, or keeping an eye on Relena during her Christmas address, or even just sitting in my apartment drinking beer and watching television. Hell, I could be breaking into a bank through the computer. Anything was better than this.

Join Preventers they said. Get a chance to save the world, they said.

Been there, done that, had the medal. I think anyway. I threw mine away but I was pretty Duo had rescued it from the trash. He probably had it tucked away somewhere safe.

I'd swore that I would never kill again. I made them promise that if I joined Preventers I wouldn't be assigned field or wet work. What I did was security, hacking and occasionally surveillance.

So much for that promise. I didn't think racing into burning buildings was part of my contract. I winced and scooped some snow to drop on my stinging face. I wondered how much the going rate for a new eye brow was these days.

Lying on my back I stared at the sky and listened to the house burn. I wasn't cold, which was nice, though I could do without all the smoke. The night sky always seemed so much clearer during the winter for some reason. I amused myself by playing connect the dots with the constellations. After a while I could finally hear sirens and snorted. Shitty response time, it'd been at least forty minutes since the bomb was first tossed.

Despite the sirens growing louder and the heat which was getting stronger, I continued to lay in the snow next to the dog. It felt fitting. Maybe I'd just stay here.   
Suddenly a figure appeared, blocking my view of the sky. I squinted and looked up to find Trowa standing above me. He held out his hand and I stared at it for a second before reaching up and grabbing it.

Guess I'd have to leave the constellations for another day.

Duo was standing with Wufei shaking his head at me. "You know you've only got one eye brow?"

I coughed, leaning on Trowa and lifted a hand to flip Duo off. He laughed.

Quatre was crouched down by the dog and I tried to get his attention but my voice only croaked. Duo seemed to understand what I wanted though because he glanced over and called out Quatre's name.

Quatre looked up and I pointed toward the dog. His shoulders drooped and he shook his head.

I looked down at the snow and swallowed. Clenching my fists, I tried to yell but only a hollow rasping sound came out.

"Use this." I looked up in time to see Wufei pass his jacket to Quatre who used it to cover the body of the dog. The golden fur disappeared under the Preventer issued jacket and I sagged.

Leaning against Trowa, I coughed, unable to stop, tears pouring down my face. Duo handed me a bottle of water and I managed to get the coughing stopped but not the tears.

I knew what the dog's name had been. Sammy. And Sammy had been in trouble a lot that week for tearing into Christmas presents. He'd liked playing ball in the backyard but sucked at finding it when it got dropped in the snow.

As far as dogs go, he'd been a rather nice one.

My skin felt tight from the heat and the tears were burning my eyes. My nose was running and mucus was making it harder to breath. I stood in the snow, staring at the lump under Wufei's jacket, crying and trying to scream but unable to make a sound.

Arms reached around and pulled me close. I could feel Duo's braid against my shoulder and Wufei's bare arm against my cheek. Trowa held me up on one side and Quatre came around to the other.

They held me close but didn't tell me it was ok. Because it wasn't.

Today it hurt. And it wasn't ok. But maybe some day it would be. Because it wasn't me lying under that jacket in the snow. Somebody had come along and pulled me up. Some day it would be my turn to die, but not yet. Not today.  
Today I hadn't been able to save that dog. Today I watched a house burn down. Today I wept and shook with failure.

But you are alive. That's what they told me. You are alive. So don't cry forever. Because tomorrow, well tomorrow will be a chance to try again.


End file.
